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Carson Paskewitz
[edit]Carson Paskewitz is the current mayor of Vesta, Minnesota in Redwood County. Sometimes called the coolest mayor ever seen he is known across all. 50 states of the U.S.A. A drinking and driving scandal in 2004 almost had him impeached but he stayed strong throughout. Known by friends as a mild-mannered law follower, in the dead of night he wears a Spiderman mask and wreaks havoc throughout the town. He took the position from Jonathon Borys after he stepped down from his loyal stance of mayor of Vesta in 2001.
Early life
[edit]Carson was born in 1983 to Martha and Thomas Paskewitz. After becoming an orphan at the tender age of 7 in Carson turned to a life of crime. Joining a man only known as Brian he stole over $1 million over 3 years. He was captured in 1994 but Brian made a getaway with the officer’s wallets as well as all the money they had stolen together. Carson was released for good behavior in 1998 and turned to politics. In 1999 he was voted “worst person who should just go away” and in 2001 he was voted mayor of Vesta.
Politics
[edit]Carson a surprisingly good mayor and despite his past is beloved to his citizens. When his opponent Daniel Dow brought up the fact, he was a criminal Carson affirmed he was just ‘doing a little trolling’ and called his opponent a simpleminded fool. In 2004 after some wild partying, a drunk Carson hopped into his Terex RH400 and drove home. Three hundred injuries clogged the hospitals as he drove over houses, people, businesses, and trees. He was impeached and he was fined $7 billion in damages but to both charges he played an uno reverse card. The impeachers were impeached, and they split the fine between themselves. In 2012 Carson enacted a new law where everyone in a two-thousand-mile radius of Vesta must salute his bravery and eat a rice cake in his honor. This law was ignored outside of Vesta until everyone in a two-thousand-mile radius were sent to the Soviet Gulag in Siberia.
Personal life
[edit]Late at night Carson can be seen wearing a spiderman mask and running through the streets blowing up buildings. His criminal senses didn’t leave him, and he enjoys robbing his citizens but if caught he simply says “sooowy I did it again.” After Brian stole all his money, he has held a grudge, so he forces the Vesta volunteer firemen to march through the streets chanting “Brian’s bad, he made me sad” over and over again.
Honors
[edit]In 2015 he was awarded the presidential medal of freedom for disarming the nuke he had placed in D.C. after he realized that his nuke would blow him up too. In 2016 he met the ghost of Charles Darwin and was given a stuffed racoon as a gift. He threw threw the racoon in the trash and later saw a live racoon in the bin and thought it had come back to life. In 2017 the Cool S was made his logo by former president Obama and he was told Obama's secret last name.