User:The Utahraptor/To do/Silver Reef, Utah
Appearance
- Resolve the image issues addressed in Silver Reef's peer review (link below)
- Request a copy edit of Silver Reef
From Wikipedia:Peer review/Silver Reef, Utah/archive2:
Comments from Malleus Fatuorum
- Lead
"In 1879, a fire destroyed several businesses, but the residents rebuilt the buildings that had been destroyed ...". So what did the fire destroy? Businesses or buildings?
- "However, in 1875, when two bankers from Salt Lake City sent William Barbee to the site to stake claims, he staked 21 claims,[2] and as a result, many local miners came to the area." That sentence doesn't really work on several levels. First of all, given that "however" is synonymous with "nevertheless" in this context, the following "when two bankers ..." bit doesn't make sense. In addition, Barbee didn't stake his 21 claims (on behalf of the bank(s)?) when he was sent from Salt Lake City.
- "When the silver mines in nearby Pioche closed, businessmen from Pioche came to "Rockpile" and established businesses." Isn't that what businessmen do, establish businesses? Was it the businessmen who moved from Pioche or the businesses? It's also rather laboured to have that "Pioche ... Pioche" in there.
- ... and as a result, many local miners came to the area". If they were "local miners" then surely they were already in the area?
- "The town had a mile-long Main Street with many businesses, some of which had been moved from Pioche". Hasn't the movement of businesses from Pioche already been covered?
- "Among them were a Wells Fargo office, the Rice building ...". There was a building called "Rice"? Or should that be "Rice Building"?
- "The mines began to close for various reasons in 1884, and as a result, people began to leave Silver Reef". That "began ... began" doesn't look very nice.
- "By 1901, most of the buildings in Silver Reef had been sent to Leeds or scrapped." Do you "scrap" a building, as opposed to demolishing it or abandoning it?
"In 1916, mining operations in Silver Reef resumed under the direction of Alex Colbath, who organized the mines into the Silver Reef Consolidated Mining Company. These claims were purchased by the American Smelting and Refining Company ...". What claims? We started off talking about mines, not claims.
- Geology and geography
- "The Silver Reef Mining District's main geologic resource is silver, while copper, gold, lead, and uranium are also among the district's geologic resources." What's that "while" doing there, masquerading as a linking word?
- "The silver ore in the sandstone of Silver Reef originated in the Chinle Formation and was deposited in the region after years of being carried by water into vegetation that became petrified." I don't understand that at all. The silver ore was carried by water into vegetation? What vegetation? Sandstone isn't petrified vegetation.
- The silver was deposited in sediments and vegetation that later became petrified, so it's been found in both sandstone and petrified wood. I planned on writing about this, but never got to it. The UtahraptorTalk/Contribs 19:09, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- "The Pine Valley Mountain Wilderness features several different plant species". It doesn't "feature" them.
- "The average elevation of Red Cliffs Recreation Area is between 2,000 feet (610 m) and 3,000 feet (910 m)." Why is that relevant to an article about Silver Reef?
- History
- "Immediately following the initial silver rush, a town site was platted". What does "platted" mean?
- It means the townsite was laid out and a plat map produced. I think I should link to plat in the article to avoid this problem in the future. The UtahraptorTalk/Contribs 19:17, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- But "plat" is a noun, therefore it doesn't have a past tense "platted". Malleus Fatuorum 19:47, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- How about "Immediately following the initial silver rush, a plat map was drawn..."? The UtahraptorTalk/Contribs 19:48, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- If a plat is a map, as the linked Wikipedia article says (although my dictionary defines it differently as a small area of land), then to say that a map is a map is redundant. But this usage of the word "plat" seems to be uniquely American, and perhaps best avoided by a more general term such as "town plan"? Malleus Fatuorum 20:12, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- How about "Immediately following the initial silver rush, a plat map was drawn..."? The UtahraptorTalk/Contribs 19:48, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- But "plat" is a noun, therefore it doesn't have a past tense "platted". Malleus Fatuorum 19:47, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- It means the townsite was laid out and a plat map produced. I think I should link to plat in the article to avoid this problem in the future. The UtahraptorTalk/Contribs 19:17, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- "Although Mormonism was not Silver Reef's main religion ...". Two things: first of all towns don't have religions, and secondly is it really likely that anyone reading this article won't know what "religion" means? I very much doubt, so why the link? I think you need to look through the article and remove similar links to common terms. Malleus Fatuorum 21:59, 17 September 2011 (UTC)
- Tourism and popular culture
- "It currently serves as a subject of photography." What on Earth does that mean?
- "... it served guests European cuisine until 2010". What is "European cuisine"? Fish and chips? Paella? Pasta dishes? Chicken tikka massala?