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User:SeeleMeer

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Needs Improvement Articles

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Ancient Music

  • Citations: much of the evidence given either lacks citations, or have 'not in citation given', next to the statements.
  • References: some of the references given are labeled as "Anon"
  • Lead description: short and to the point, but overly generalized and only focuses on specific but more well-known ancient societies, leaving out music from societies like the Americas or Pacific Islands, entirely.
  • Tables/timelines: Since much of the article talks about specific eras and time periods, it's difficult for readers to follow along when everything is put together in one large paragraph, instead of including a table or some sort of graphic to separate music by era or time period.
  • Copyediting: needs a good read-through. Some run-on sentences and lack of proper grammar and punctuation make an already heavy text, even more difficult to follow.

Coffee Cake

  • Overall: lacks information, for a subject so varied and with multiple recipes or sources from around the world to pull from.
  • Citations/References: cites outlets such as The Guardian and the BBC for specific recipes, but I do not see much on the history of these cakes or their importance to the cultures they come from.
  • Layout of tables and graphics is a bit haphazard-- pictures of cakes from different countries should be placed with the countries they come from and not just tabled as a group at the bottom of the article.
  • External links contain good information, but some of them listed should instead be expounded on in the article as they are specifically coffee cakes.

Choosing Articles to Work on

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" The Kiss" Article : improvements and tasks

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Improvements

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  • Lacks the proper encyclopedic tone and style
  • Background for the painting lacks content about its origins and dives into style from the get-go
  • Description section for the painting should focus primarily on the work, and save comparisons/influencers for a different section
  • Should include section on relevancy of the work today

Tasks

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  • Separate the article into appropriate sections, with more clear headings that give audience an idea of what they're reading about
  • Find more (unbiased) sources for content purposes -- separating the articles into more sections are going to leave certain areas more bare looking than others, so try to find appropriate information to fill those in
  • Do a more thorough read-through, and stylistically shift the tone to a more neutral and formal style