Tony Price

Scientific classification

Kingdom:	Nerditae
Phylum:	Idiotica
Class:	Lunatices
Order:	Piobsessives
Family:	Price
Genus:	Genius
Species:	Toniatus

The Tony Price, or Genius Toniatus is a large, fur covered blob that resembles a giant hamster. Can often be seen at night scurrying towards a buffet. (See also: Bill Bailey)

Information

Genius Toniatus is closely related to the Philip Davies (Genius Philipatus) and the Jacob Dyer (Genius Jacobatus). It is Native to northern Macedonia and is nocturnal, only waking during the day to watch QI and University Challenge.

History

Toniatus in mythology

The ancient Macedonian myth of Esal describes a creature that roamed the villages at night painting apostrophes on signs. There is no definate proof, but it is believed that this was a Toniatus.

Documented encounters

The first documented encounter with a Toniatus was by the English explorer Thomas Carson in 1852. He wrote this record of the encounter:

"… A few miles south of the road I discovered a most curious sight; a trail of indentations in the ground running as far as the eye could see. They were arranged in groups of varying (apparently randomly) size: 3, 1, 4, 1, 5, 9, 2, 6 and onwards. I followed the line for many hours until I came upon an animal, nearly a yard across and covered in coarse grey fur. As it walked, its hind legs dug the curious markings in the groud …"

The full account can be found in his book "Most Curious Sights of Macedonia". These trails are found quite often across Northern Macedonia, and have become a major tourist attraction.

Other characteristics

These trails have the disadvantage that they allow predators to easily track the Toniatus to their nests. Fortunately the Toniatus has an ingenious defence system. When a predator gets too close, the Toniatus bores the predator to the point that it falls unconscious. It then rolls the predator into a nearby bush where it becomes entangled when it wakes.

This behaviour is purely defensive, as the Toniatus is a herbivore.