User:People? You mean, "Sheeple"

Memorable quotes from Mystery of the Urinal Deuce

• Cartman: "Remember that there are, in fact, 2 towers. 2-1 is 1. 1,1: 11. 2-1 is 1. 1,1. And there are 9 members on Silverstein's board of directors. That's 9,1,1: 9/11. And take 2-1 + 9/11 and you get 12. Which leads us all to the master mind of the 9/11 attacks...Kyle!"
  Kyle: "ME?!?"
  Cartman: "12 contains the numbers 1 and 2, just like the toilet yesterday where someone went number 2 instead of number 1. Add 1 and 2 with 9/11 and you get 914. Drop the 4 and its 91; exactly the score Kyle got on his spelling test 12 days after 9/11! WHO HAD THE MOST TO GAIN FROM 9/11? KYLE! WHO WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND THE MORNING THE TOWERS FELL? KYLE! WHO DROPPED A DEUCE IN THE URINAL? KYLE! But probably the most damning of all: is the evidence seen in this photo of tower two. When I zoomed in I saw what first appeared to be a blur, but when I computer enhanced it... [Cartman displays a blurry picture of smoke with a hand-drawn computer image of Kyle with a knife overlayed onto it] You almost got away with it, you sneaky butt-hole."

• Kyle: "Anybody who thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy is a retard."
  Cartman: "Oh, really? Well, did you know that over one-fourth of people in America think that 9/11 was a conspiracy? Are you saying that one-fourth of Americans are retards?"
  Kyle: "Yes, I'm saying one-fourth of Americans are retards."
  Stan: "Yeah, at least one-fourth."
  Kyle: "Let's take a test sample. There's four of us and [points at Cartman] you're a retard. See? One out of four."

• Mr. Mackey: "The boy's bathroom is closed until further notice; because one of you thought it would be a good idea to pull down your pants, M'kay, hover your butt cheeks over the urinal, and squeeze out a chocolate hotdog. M'kay?[children laugh] Oh you think that's funny, huh? Well let me assure you there is nothing funny about going up to a nice clean, unsuspecting urinal, M'kay, dropping your pants and then turning around, squatting over that urinal, M'kay, maybe, maybe, pulling your butt cheeks apart with your hands, M'kay, and then laying out a big fudge dragon for all the world to see."

• 9/11 Researcher: "You won't get away with it! People know!"
  George W. Bush: "People? You mean sheeple."

• George W. Bush: "Quite simple to pull off really. All I had to do was have explosives planted in the base of the towers, then on 9/11 we pretended like 4 planes were being hijacked when really we just rerouted them to Pennsylvania then flew 2 military jets into the World Trade Center filled with more explosives then shot down all the witnesses of Flight 93 with an F-15 after blowing up the Pentagon with a cruise missile. It was only the world's most intricate and flawlessly executed plan, ever, ever."

• (Dick Cheney attempts to shoot Stan and Kyle, he misses and hits the fire alarm instead)
  Dick Cheney: Dang it! I missed again!
  George W. Bush: Aw, for Christ's sake, Cheney!

• Frank Hardly : "I got such a raging clue that I almost shot clue goo all over Joe."

• Kyle: "So then who was responsible for 9/11?
  Stan: "What do you mean, a bunch of pissed off muslims."
  Frank Hardly "Yea, what are you retarded?"