User:Nickma22/Masakatsu Takagi/Kailikita Peer Review
General info
[edit]- Whose work are you reviewing?
Nickma22
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- Masakatsu Takagi
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- Masakatsu Takagi
Evaluate the drafted changes
[edit]| Peer review – by Kailikita
Lead The lead sentence/paragraph is clear, concise, and describes who Masakatsu Takagi is. However, a lot of the following information below the first paragraph could be shifted down underneath a different heading and then expanded upon.
The content added is relevant to the topic, related to the works of music and film that he has contributed to. There doesn’t seem to be any issues on the content being up to date. I think there is a lot of content missing in terms of expanding the article, but this should just come with time. I don’t see any grammatical or spelling erros! Currently, all the content other than Masakatsu’s discography is in one section without heading—I think breaking up this content into different sections would help with organization as well as the ability to grow the article significantly. For example, there could be a “Regarded Works” or “Career” section that includes the paragraphs talking about him writing the score for films Wolf Children…King of Dreams and Madness, as well as the2018 Marginalia series paragraph, and the David Sylvian tour. Then a section titled ‘Accomplishments’ could be added for the Apple Inc. paragraph, and maybe there is more to add here from new sources the editor finds. The one sentence about Masakatsu moving to a village in Hyogo could be placed into a ‘Personal Life’ category where more information could be added if there are references that can be found. Finally, the discography section is great to include, but if it helps there is a Wikipedia Discography guidelines page that could be helpful in improving the notability of the discography itself. Here is the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:WikiProject_Discographies/style It looks complicated but I feel like especially the first part (for example making it a table chart) seems not too difficult and would make the article look more professional! Also, make sure throughout the article Masakatsu Takagi is referred to as one name. If you want to shorten the full name to just last name (which is common in Wikipedia), don’t use Takagi, use Masakatsu – in Japanese first and last names are flipped, so Takagi is actually his first name and Masakatsu is last. Tone and Balance In terms of tone and balance I definitely think it is neutral, it is not heavily opinionated or biased and does not try to persuade the reader one way or another. Sources and References I know it’s probably hard to find ‘reliable’ sources that are considered notable under Wikipedia standards when the article is on a small Japanese figure, and I do not know if you know how to speak Japanese but (I actually do) and if possible try to find more ‘academic’ or reliable sources—some of these are very short blog posts seeming to be more community based instead of professionally published, but I understand why. Maybe try to find a source that isn’t from 2014, since that may not be considered ‘recent’. It does seem challenging to find anything more ‘notable’ though as he doesn’t seem too infamous—maybe ask Ellie about this? Adding some sources that aren’t in Japanese would also make the article a lot more credible/accessible to a reader who does not know Japanese. Expand that audience! The links do work though, ayeee. Images and Media The image of Masakatsu provided seems credible and it is good that it is within the background table. If you could find any other images or media from his works that isn’t copyrighted that would be an awesome addition. Overall impressions I don’t see that much content added at all so it definitely needs a good amount of work to get to the standard Mako wants from us; hopefully when you get around to it my feedback can help guide you there! |