User:Newyorkadam/Notes

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#a. Pre-edited version

#b. Edited version

Cole Hamels copyedit notes

Cole Hamels copyedit notes

1a. "Originally from San Diego, California, Hamels excelled in high school both academically and athletically. The development of his superior changeup resulted from breaking his arm in high school."

1b. That's just randomly in there... it needs to be removed and put somewhere else

2a. "Having reached the Triple-A level, he was the preeminent minor league pitcher in the Phillies system by 2006."

2b. "Having reached the Triple-A level, he was the preeminent minor league pitcher in the Phillies system by 2006.

3a. "In May 2006, Hamels made his major league debut for the Phillies and remained there ever since."

3b. "In May 2006, Hamels made his major league debut for the Phillies and has remained there since."

4a. "After securing a long-term spot as a member of the Phillies starting rotation in his first year"

4b. "After securing a long-term spot as a member of the Phillies starting rotation in his rookie season"

5a. "he made large strides in the 2007 and won the Phillies' top major league pitcher award."

5b. "he made large strides in the 2007 Major League Baseball season and won the Phillies' top major league pitcher award{{Citation needed}}."

6a. "He was the top pitcher on the ball club entering the 2008 season"

6b. "He was the top pitcher on the team entering the 2008 season"

7a. "he won the World Series MVP award and from that point was the Phillies marquee starter."

7b. "he won the World Series Most Valuable Player Award and from that point on was the Phillies marquee starter."

8a. "Hamels was joined by fellow aces Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Roy Oswalt, and flourished with them, putting up some of his top career seasons before suffering from poor run support and putting up lackluster numbers in 2013."

8b. "Hamels was joined by fellow aces Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Roy Oswalt, and flourished with them, putting up some of his top career seasons before suffering from poor run support in 2013."

9a. "Professional carer" (heading)

9b. "Professional career" (heading)

10a. "once he recovered, then hurt his back, and was shut down for the rest of the season."

10b. "once he recovered, he hurt his back and did not play for the rest of the season."

11a. "where in just three games, he struck out 36 batters"

11b. "where in just three games he struck out 36 batters"

12a. "His minor league totals were 14–4, with"

12b. "His minor league statistics included a record of 14–4 with"

13a. "Hamels was called up to the Phillies in May 2006."

13b. "Hamels was called up to the Philadelphia Phillies in May 2006."

14a. "striking out seven batters but walking five, but earned a "

14b. "striking out seven batters yet walking five, while earning a"

15a. "In his second career start, Hamels was dominant until the seventh inning, in which he was pulled"

15b. "In his second career start, Hamels was dominant until the seventh inning, during which he was pulled"

16a. "returned on June 6 to defeat the Arizona Diamondbacks 10–1, for his first Major League victory"

16b. "returned on June 6 to defeat the Arizona Diamondbacks 10–1 for his first Major League victory"

17a. "Hamels had his best start of his rookie campaign"

17b. "Hamels had his best start of his rookie season"

18a. "striking out nine in the 13–0 victory."

18b. "striking out nine in the Phillies' 13–0 victory."

19a. "a 4.08 earned run average"

19b. "a 4.08 earned run average (ERA)"

20a. "On April 21, 2007, Hamels struck out 15 Reds in his"

20b. "On April 21, 2007, Hamels struck out 15 Cincinnati Reds players in his"

21a. "He allowed one run on five hits and two walks, setting a career high for strikeouts"

21b. "He allowed one run on five hits and two walks while setting a career high fifteen strikeouts"

22b. "where he walked leadoff man Rickie Weeks"

22b. "where he walked leadoff hitter Rickie Weeks"

23a. "he pitched the Phillies into first place by"

23b. "he pitched the Phillies into first place in the National League East by"

24a. "The Philadelphia chapter"

24b. "The Philadelphia chapter"

25a. "Before the season got underway in March"

25b. "Before the season began in March"

26a. "and agent John Boggs"

27b. "and his agent John Boggs"

28a. "for his performance last season"

29b. "for his performance in the previous season"

30a. "including wins (3), ERA (2.70),"

30b. "including wins (3), ERA (2.70)," ERA was already linked!

31a. "recorded his first career complete game shutout against"

31b. "recorded his first career complete game shutout against" change link to shutouts in baseball (not to shutout in sports)

32a. "repeat of that complete game"

32b. "repeat of his complete game"

33a. "beating the Reds, 5–0, on June 5."

33b. "beating the Reds, 5–0 on June 5."

34a. "Hamels posted a 3–1 record and a 2.61 ERA in the month."

34b. "Hamels posted a 3–1 record and a 2.61 ERA during this time period."

35a. "he had the lowest OBP-against in the majors, .272"

36a. "he had the lowest on-base percentage-against (OBP) in the majors at .272"

37a. "He was named the MVP"

37b. "He was named the Most Valuable Player (MVP)"

38a. "on October 15 in Los Angeles"

39a. "on October 15 in Los Angeles"

40a. "Hamels was named Most Valuable Player of the World Series"

40b. "Hamels was named Most Valuable Player of the World Series"

41a. "The New York chapter of the Baseball Writers' Association of America (BBWAA) likewise"

41b. "The New York chapter of the Baseball Writers' Association of America (BBWAA) likewise"

Done past 2008!!

42a. "2009 season by signing a 3-year, $20.5 million deal with the Phillies."

42b. "2009 season by signing a 3-year, $20.5 million contract with the Phillies."

43a. "Yeah, you might as well go ahead and pencil him in [...] I don't think there's any sense in me playing games. Go ahead, pencil him in."

43b. ""Yeah, you might as well go ahead and pencil him in. I don't think there's any sense in me playing games. Go ahead, pencil him in."" It's a quote (needs quotation marks) and according to the reference, there isn't a pause in the middle of it!

44a. "Ciccotti found no structural damage in his arm. Hamels did not pitch on Opening Day, even though no structural damage was evident."

44b. "Ciccotti found no structural damage in his arm, yet Hamels still did not pitch on Opening Day.

45a. "ground ball and fly ball rates all remained similar"

45b. "ground ball and fly ball rates all remained similar compared to earlier seasons"

46a. "the win in Game 1 of the National League Championship Series, as the Phillies beat the Dodgers, 8–6."

46b. "the win in Game 1 of the National League Championship Series as the Phillies beat the Dodgers 8–6."

47a. "Afterward, Hamels told reporters, "I can't wait for it to end." Later in the series, this prompted his teammate, Brett Myers, to ask Hamels: "What are you doing here? I thought you quit." The Phillies lost the World Series to the Yankees in 6 games."

47b. "Afterward, Hamels told reporters, "I can't wait for it to end."{{Citation needed}} Later in the series, this prompted his teammate, Brett Myers, to ask Hamels: "What are you doing here? I thought you quit."{{Citation needed}} The Phillies lost the World Series to the Yankees in 6 games.{{Citation needed}}"

48a. "against the Reds, and pitched a complete game shutout of just 5 hits."

48b. "against the Reds and pitched a complete game shutout, letting up just 5 hits."

49a. "The Phillies advanced to the 2010 National League Championship Series, where Hamels was recorded with the loss in Game 3 against the Giants."

49b. "The Phillies advanced to the 2010 National League Championship Series, where Hamels recorded the loss in Game 3 against the San Francisco Giants.{{Citation needed}}"

Done past 2010!!

50a. "Arizona were announced on TBS"

50b. "Arizona were announced on TBS"

51a. "teammates Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee; however, he was not eligible to play because"

51b. "teammates Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee. He was not eligible to play, however, because"

52a. " he had pitched the Sunday prior to the All-Star Game"

52b. " he had pitched the Sunday prior to the All-Star Game"

53a. "He finished fifth in the Cy Young Voting behind Clayton Kershaw, Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Ian Kennedy respectively."

53b. "He finished fifth in the Cy Young Award voting behind Clayton Kershaw, Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Ian Kennedy, respectively."

54a. "the loose bodies removed from his elbow were to solve that."

54b. "loose bodies were removed from his elbow to fix his problems."

55a. "Hamels was ready to pitch by the start of Spring Training of 2012."

55b. "Hamels was ready to pitch by the start of Spring Training 2012."

56a. "$15 million contract to avoid arbitration."

56b. "$15 million contract to avoid arbitration."

57a. "with a pitch, after admitting that it was intentional."

57b. "with a pitch, after admitting that it was intentional.{{Citation needed}}"

58a. "Hamels would stay a member of the Phillies when he"

58b. "Hamels would stay a Phillie when he"

59a. "The six-year, $144 million contract was the second-biggest contract ever signed by a pitcher."

59b. "The six-year, $144 million contract was the second-largest contract ever signed by a pitcher.<ref>{{cite web | url=http://www.tampabay.com/sports/hamels-remains-a-phillie-for-144-million/1242234 | title=Hamels remains a Phillie for $144 million | date=25 July 2012 | accessdate=10 December 2013}}</ref>"

60a. "finished eighth in NL Cy Young Award voting."

60b. "finished eighth in the NL Cy Young Award voting."

61a. "As of August 13, Hamels is 5-13 with an ERA of 3.65."

61b. REMOVE SENTENCE

62a. "While Hamels' struggles during the season could be blamed on poor performance, his losing record can also be attributed to an unfortunate lack of run support. He's the first pitcher in the NL to have 13 losses after a high of 17 wins the year before."

62b. "While Hamels' struggles during the season could have been blamed on his lack of offensive run support, his losing record can also be attributed to a poor playing performance. He is the first pitcher in the NL to have 13 losses after a high of 17 wins the previous year.{{Citation needed}}"

63a. "He lives in"

63b. "Hamels lives in"

64a. "whom he married on December 31, 2006."

64b. "whom he married on December 31, 2006.{{Citation needed}}"

65a. "Their second son, Braxton, was born on November 2, 2011. Cole is the oldest of three, with a younger brother Mitchell and a younger sister Jillian."

65b. "Their second son, Braxton, was born on November 2, 2011.

Cole is the oldest of three children, with a younger brother Mitchell and a younger sister Jillian." (start a new line)

66a. "Gary and Amanda Hamels, reside in San Diego."

66b. "Gary and Amanda Hamels, reside in San Diego."

67a. "The video is currently on YouTube and"

67b. "The video is currently on YouTube and"

68a. "Hamels is known around baseball for possessing one of the"

68b. "Hamels is known throughout baseball for possessing one of the"

Changes :)

Babe Ruth notes

Babe Ruth notes

References:

"It is stated that the Yankees will probably get Vean Gregg, the former Cleveland southpaw, or Babe Ruth, the young pitcher who was a sensation with the Baltimore Club early last season. It is expected that the Yankees will give some players besides cash for the pitcher."

"George Ruth, a pitcher recently obtained by the Boston American League Club from the Baltimore International League team, was transferred today to the Providence club of the International League."

"Babe Ruth of the Boston Red Sox, baseball's super-slugger, was purchased by the Yankees yesterday for the largest cash sum ever paid for a player. The New York Club paid Harry Frazen of Boston $125,000 for the sensational batsman who last season caused such a furore in the national game by batting out twenty-nine home runs, a new record in long-distance clouting."

The Big Bam: The Life and Times of Babe Ruth by Leigh Montville

Bacon copyedit notes

Bacon copyedit notes

1a. "especially game, e.g. venison, pheasant."

1b. "especially game, including venison and pheasant."

2a. "In continental Europe, this part of the pig is usually not"

2b. "In continental Europe, part of the pig is not usually"

3a. "with significant Jewish and Muslim populations."

3b. "with significant Jewish and Muslim populations, both of which prohibit the consumption of pig."

4a. "potassium nitrate (saltpeter);"

4b. "potassium nitrate (saltpeter);"

5a. "Flavourings such as brown sugar or maple are used for some products."

5b. "Flavourings such as brown sugar or maple are used for some bacon products."

6a. "or rarely corn cobs;"

6b. "or rarely corn cobs;"

7a. "peat is sometimes used in the UK."

7b. "peat is sometimes used in the United Kingdom."

8a. "is ever not smoked,"

8b. "is ever not smoked,"

9a. "running parallel to the rind."

9b. "running parallel to the rind."

10a. "(rashers or, in the United States,"

10b. "(rashers, or, in the United States,"

11a. "Bacon is often served with eggs as part"

11b. "Bacon is often served with eggs and sausages as part"

12a. "A side of unsliced bacon was once known as a 'flitch' it is now known as a 'slab'"

12b. "A side of unsliced bacon was once known as a 'flitch'; it is now known as a 'slab'"

13a. "rasher of bacon is a 'slice' or 'strip'."

13b. "rasher of bacon is known as a 'slice' or 'strip'."

14a. "flavourings such as red pepper, maple, honey, molasses, and"

14b. "flavourings such as red pepper, maple, brown sugar, honey, molasses, and"

15a. "the Ozarks, New England, and the upper South (mainly Kentucky, North Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia)."

15b. "the Ozarks, New England, and the upper South (mainly Kentucky, North Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia)."

16a. "'bacon' on its own refers generically to"

16b. "'bacon' on its own generally refers to"

17a. "Similar products made from the ham are used as less expensive substitutes."

17b. "Similar products are used as less expensive substitutes."

18a. "typically refers to bacon from the pork belly."

18b. "typically refers to bacon from the pig's belly."

19a. "ground dried peas"

19b. "ground dried peas"

20a. "Slices from the pork belly (with streaks of meat and of fat)"

20b. "Slices from the pork belly (with streaks of meat and fat)"

21a. "some supermarkets also"

21b. "some supermarkets also"

22a. "which elicits an addictive neurochemical response."

22b. "which elicits an addictive neurochemical response."

23a. "Gupta "the chain lards on bacon" give foods a"

23b. "Gupta, "the chain lards on bacon", which give foods a"

24a. "There is even bacon jam."

24b. "Bacon jam is also a commercially sold food."

25a. "used as a topping in the U.S., on items"

25b. "used as a topping in the U.S. on items"

26a. "on items such as pizza"

26b. "on such items as pizza" the latter just sounds better to me

27a. "In the U.S. Sliced smoked loin, which"

27b. "In the U.S., sliced smoked loin, which"

28a. "or served sauteed over spinach."

28b. "or served sautéed over spinach."

29a. "used for barding roast fowl"

29b. "used for barding roast fowl"

30a. "recent fad, including"

30b. "recent bacon fad, including

31a. "available including bacon band-aids, dental floss, scarves, soaps, perfumes and air fresheners."

31b. "available including bacon band-aids, dental floss, scarves, soaps, perfumes and air fresheners."

32a. "in continuous microwave ovens."

32b. "in continuous microwave ovens."

33a. "Turkey bacon and vegetarian bacon fill a niche for alternatives to the meat from pigs."

33b. "Turkey bacon and vegetarian bacon are popular alternatives to real bacon."

34a. "a bacon-flavoured salt, Bacon Salt,"

34b. "a bacon-flavoured salt (Bacon Salt),"

35a. "Baconnaise (a bacon-flavoured mayonnaise) and"

35b. "Baconnaise (a bacon-flavoured mayonnaise), and"

Changes :)

Jennifer Lawrence copyedit notes

Jennifer Lawrence copyedit notes

1a. Lauren Pearson

1b. Lauren Pearson

2a. "After the show was canceled, she starred in Winter's Bone, a film about a teenage girl who tries to find her missing father.[19][20]"

2b. Remove sentence

3a. "She starred as shape-shifting villain, Mystique, alongside James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender in X-Men: First Class,[36] a prequel to the rest of the X-Men film series."

3b. Move ref to end of sentence

4a. "based on the best-selling [[The Hunger Games trilogy|novel of the same name]] by [[Suzanne Collins]]."

4b. "based on the best-selling [[The Hunger Games|novel of the same name]] by [[Suzanne Collins]]."

5a. "She was originally cast to play "O" in the film Savages"

5b. "She was originally cast to play Ophelia "O" Sage in the film"

6a. "It became a major commercial and critical success. Lawrence's portrayal of Katniss Everdeen won her critical praise."

6b. "It became a major commercial and critical success. Lawrence's portrayal of Katniss Everdeen won her praise from fans and critics alike."

7a. "Lawrence will be starring in and producing the film adaptation of Claire Bidwell Smith's memoir The Rules of Inheritance, directed by Susanne Bier."

7b. "Lawrence will be starring in and producing the film adaptation of Claire Bidwell Smith's memoir The Rules of Inheritance, directed by Susanne Bier."

8a. "Lawrence was never in theater and did not take acting classes."

8b. "Lawrence was never involved with theater and did not take acting classes."

Changes :)

Operation Lost notes

Operation Lost

References: http://books.google.com/books?id=waVCqzL8b4kC

A. Dominic Monaghan: originally auditioined for Sawyer, Charlie was modified for him