User:Mech Aaron
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The following is a transcript of recording of a "Wikipedia Anonymous" Meeting. The names have not been changed, to expose the guilty.
M.C.: As you may have noticed, we have a new member tonight. Aaron, please stand up and tell us about your experience with Wikis.
Aaron: Hello, I am Aaron.
Audience: Hello Aaron!
Aa: I have been using Wikis for years now, but always anonymously. It started by correcting spelling and grammar mistakes, and then I moved on to the harder stuff like adding links and references; I even started using the discussion pages. Recently I found myself wanting to add images to Wikipedia pages, so I made an account.
Au: [Gasps, Tears]
Aa: I recently entirely rewrote the Mode Shapes page because it was just confusing.
M.C.: We know your pain Aaron, but please tell us about yourself.
Aa: I am a Mechanical Engineer from the United States, so I speak English and have knowledge of Structures, Strength, Dynamics and Statics, Design, Machines and Machining, Fluids, Thermodynamics, General Science, Some Higher Mathematics, the Interrobang, and of course Pop Culture.
M.C.: Aaron! You are beginning to sound like a Contributor! But we will help you. Everyone, show some support.
Au: [Shouts of encouragement, some clearly heard are: You can beat this! We have all been there! You don't have to hit rock bottom, stop now!]
Aa: Oh, I don't want to quit.
Au: [Murmurs]
M.C.: But this is a support group! Why are you here if not to quit?
Aa: I thought this was a Technical Support group! I need help embedding an applet on the Bessel Function page!
Au: [Rabble, heard above the din is: Hey if he can contribute then so can I! Don't go back to the dark side! I am uploading a photo to Wikimedia Commons Right now, on my laptop. No, you'll kill us all! Stop, won't somebody think of the children‽]
M.C.: Calm down every one.
Au: No you calm down!
[Sound of something heavy crashing.]
M.C.: Remember the lack of accuracy! The Graffiti and Vandalism!
Aa: Actually according to a recent study the accuracy of Wikipedia is similar to that of the Encyclopaedia Britannica.
Au: Citation needed!
M.C.: Stop! Please!
Au: Lets post a penis on the Hillary Clinton page.
Aa: Rolling back to an older version and blocking IP.
[Loud Sounds of a scuffle]
M.C.: [Groans]
[Sounds of metal chairs hitting the wall, clattering to the floor] [More loud noises, tables being overturned] [Loud pop, and the audio stops]