User:Lukas44anderson
My name is Lukas Anderson, I am an English 99 student at Olympic college. My interests are sports, and hanging out with my friends. I enjoy being outdoors, but not hiking and camping. I enjoy fishing and going to baseball games, or riding bikes. From a young age, I have been very involved in sports, from watching them to playing them. When I grow up, I hope to be a scout for an NFL team. That is what I want to major in, which is sports management. I am currently just getting my undergrad classes done at Olympic.
I have used Wikipedia a lot, throughout my years of school, and have found it very useful. It always has the info I am looking for, in a very presentable and easy way. Also, the sources are always on the page so I know it is true. I will continue to use Wikipedia for the rest of my life. My English teacher has talked a lot about Wikipedia, and that only made me feel better about using the website.
Article Critique
[edit]For my article critic, I have chosen to critique the Wikipedia page of Jerome-Max Kelii Holloway, more commonly known as Max "Blessed" Holloway. He is a MMA (mixed martial arts) fighter, from Waianae, Hawaii. I chose this page because it is a subject that interests me, and I noticed the page is very empty, especially because he is the champion of the Featherweight division, in the UFC(Ultimate Fighting Championship), which is the most popular fighting league in the world. I visited the Max Holloway page on Wikipedia, and found three aspects of it worth commenting on: Age, structure and grammar/voice.
Age
[edit]The age of this page, is somewhat new. Holloway recently made it big, so most of the citations and the article are up to date. I clicked on a few of the pages linked to this article and the information was not quite correct on all of them. For example, I clicked on the link from UFC fight night 26, and they did not have much info on that, or many of the links I clicked on. This is very important to have detailed links to prove your facts. Also, there are no dead links on this page.
Structure
[edit]The next topic on my essay is structure. There are a lot of positives in this article in terms of structure. The only thing I could find that was left out, was the article never said where he was born, which is different from where he lives. No viewpoints are too represented or under represented, the editor did a good job of making sure they were not biased. I would say this article does not go into his backstory very much, like when he grew up or how he was raised. I have seen that on many pages before but not this one.
Grammar
[edit]Lastly, I will talk about the grammar and voice. The article remained neutral, as it is tough to stay neutral on a person you are passionate about. I noticed when the editor was describing certain fighters who fought Holloway, they described good parts of their game. To me this is an example of bias because whether or not they are good at something is all up to opinion. I searched heavily for grammatical errors, but I was unsuccessful in finding any.
Conclusion
[edit]I was critiquing this article off of three areas, age, structure and grammar/voice. The editor did a good job staying neutral, and avoiding big grammatical errors. All of the facts that were presented in the page were backed up by links. Overall, the editor did a good job on this page, but could have gone more in depth on some areas. Also, I left a question regarding the picture on the page's talk page.