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User:Laylagoldberg19/Participatory defense/Nathan.brenn Peer Review

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General info

[edit]
Whose work are you reviewing?

laylagoldberg19

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Laylagoldberg19/Participatory defense
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
participatory defense

Evaluate the drafted changes

[edit]

The addition to this article is very clear and brings a new level of detail to the page. I like how you elaborated on exactly how participatory defense brings a new sense of agency to incarcerated folks, families, and communities. The tone and style of the addition is quite neutral and I don't sense any clear bias behind your words. My only suggestion for this section is to integrate it better with the original writing. The last sentence "Developed in 2009..." and the two new sentences following seem to have a similar end message message about transforming criminal justices institutions. Consider reworking this to maybe have one sentence that establishes participatory defense as transformative and then a second sentence describing how (ie. "increased transparency, accountability..."). Mostly a matter of making it all flow and be concise as possible. Overall your additions definitely add detail to this introduction and demonstrate the importance of participatory defense for restructuring criminal justice systems.

Good work!