User:Konekohime
Dust Pirate
[edit]What is a dust pirate
[edit]The dust pirate is a creature of deep legend. Once they were thought to live in the deep oceans, only to find that they in face live under the pile of dirty clothes in my bedroom that haven't been touched in two weeks.
They are swarthy creatures which are known for their trademark left sock theft. Yes, the drier gnome once was thought to be guilty of this crime, and although they have fun tormenting us humans, the dust pirates have been caught red-handed.
How?
[edit]The dust pirates are indeed small, microscopic in effect. What we see as the dust under our beds are in facts colonies of these tiny theives ready to strike at any given moment.
As human socks are much bigger than these tiny creatures, they rehearse drills in preparation of stealing the left sock. The larger pirates go under the curled up areas and the tinier pirates go under the flattened areas to lift the sock. It is then taken to their secret reversable black whole. Only the pirates have access to this strange spacial phenomenon.
It is not possible to catch a dust pirate in the act. But late night, when you start to drift off into that cosmic ocean of sleep, the dust pirate strikes.
Why?
[edit]The dust pirate is teamed with the laundry gnome as well as sock gnome to torture the human race. What these creatures hold against the human race is unknown at this moment, however research is being done to understand and do something about their complaints. The latest news said it was something over union contracts, but how much validity that holds is unknown.
The highly feared dust pirate does the most damage however. Not only does it steal the left footed sock as often as it can, but it produces also violent allergic reactions within some individuals. Every sneeze caused by dust pirate colonies is rewarded with a nice party and honourable mention for specific pirates who caused the whole thing.
In some individuals dust pirate attacks can cause asthma.