User:KGV/Sushi
Timothy Sushi Bach | |
---|---|
Background information | |
Occupation(s) | Student, Director, Model |
Instrument(s) | Violin, Piano |
Years active | 1994-Tomorrow, and the day after |
This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
Timothy Sushi Bach (born Timothy Wong Tse Yeung), November 20, 1994 in Hong Kong, China) is a classical violinist and recording artist, and a participant in the creation of one of the many successful Mini-Enterprises in the history of King George V School, Flor-Mart. Many regard this enterprise as one of the most successful mini-enterprises ever to emerge out of selling bookmarks and badges. Indeed, Flor-Mart utterly defeated other small corporations and was awarded a prestigious award at the Registry of Companies of the School, including Kiss Kiss Boom Boom, Frostees, among others, because of its highly effective management and leadership team. Many other corporations failed because of a lack of brainpower, yet Flor-Mart survived because it had a perfect combination of wit, mathematical ability, encouragement and musical ability.
Choice of name
[edit]The name "Sushi" was not chosen by Timothy, but actually his friends who somehow changed his mispronunciation of the word "rehearsal" into the name of the famous japanese cuisine. The origin of Bach as surname is unknown, though Sushi is rumoured to be the reincarnation of the Great J. S. Bach. Another possible explanation floating about at the time that he composes just like Bach himself, for once in a Music lesson at School he stated that he was "inspired by Bach" and was going to "write a Gigue". He is also known as simply "Emo Kid" due to his unique behavior.
Personal Life
[edit]Childhood and Education
[edit]Sushi was born in Hong Kong, China to an Chinese mother and a Chinese father, a prestigious businessman and according to Forbes, one of the top 10 wealthiest people in the world. He has one older brother, Leslie Wong and one younger sister, Samantha Wong.
The then Timothy attended first Beacon Hill School (run by the English Schools Foundation) during the years of 1999 to 2006. He now attends King George V School, and now is in Year 12 (Form 6).
Child prodigy and musical education
[edit]When Sushi was four months old, his father bought a violin for him. The young Sushi took an interest to the instrument and soon learned to play, under the professional guidance of X Y. A year later (technically, when he was sixteen months old), he took part in a competition and won first prize. His first public appearance was at the Opening Ceremony of the 1996 Olympic Games, when he was two years old.
By the age of seven, he was playing once a week in public. He studied violin at the HKAPA. At the age of 12, he began working with the distinguished Chinese violinist Au Shen Yu. At the age of 13, he had recorded ten CDs, appeared on the annual Chinese television CCTV New Year's Gala, and gave a concert in the prestigious Kwai Thing Theatre, at the conductor's personal invitation. He was offered the use of the famous Gagliano, which is among the best instruments of the "Sushi period".
His partner for composition tasks in Year Eight, Scott Wanker, transcribed the tunes that he was humming into Sibelius (software for typesetting music and rendering it into a computer-readable format) and then played this to their then Music teacher (Hur is her name). What then happened was the mordent appearing at the end of the piece did not play, and Timothy protested, saying it was the best part of the piece; but the composition still won the applause and loud cheers of the fellow classmates. Timothy called this series of hums "a masterpiece". Unfortunately, the Sibelius computer file was inadvertently deleted due to the incompetence of that Wanker, to Timothy's great chagrin.
At the age of 14, as the youngest soloist ever to have performed in Hong Kong, he signed an exclusive contract with RTHK. He played with the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra under the direction of Dude in Vienna, Austria. His concerts included two in Mumbai, three in Kolkata and four in New Delhi in concerts marking the 50th anniversary of India’s Independence and Relations with Hong Kong. At the age of 19, he played with the Rundfunk-Sinfonieorchster in Berlin, under the direction of Rafael Frühbeck de Burgos, and was hailed by critics as a "sexy". This led to an invitation to perform at Expo 2000 in Hanover. He continued his studies at the Royal College of Music in London. At the age of 21, he was invited to perform at the BBC Proms. He graduated from the Juilliard School in 2004.
2008 love relationships
[edit]In March 2008, Sushi revealed that he had fallen in love with a "young maiden" (whose name could, unfortunately, not be revealed, due to the damage Sushi inflicted on the throats of those who knew the name). Over this "girl", he had experienced semi-suicidal thoughts. To make things worse, he found out that the young maiden had fallen in love with a buff young man who plays basketball. The front-seat audience to his January 1st 2009 New Year's recital noticed that cut wounds were visible on his right hand; Sushi wrote later that in the company of his "comforters" he had persuaded himself that self-wounding would have encouraged him to forget the "girl". To prevent further self-inflicted injuries, Sushi's friends "confiscated" the stationery and paraphernalia which had a sharp blade. However, in certain classes at school (e.g. in one Physics class) he was observed to be licking and sniffing the top of a glue stick, which could have contained inhalant. Incidentally, it was observed that the obsession with inhalant could have stemmed from the Physics teacher Sushi had at the time, who was apparently Italian, and said things that Sushi would never comprehend ("I am crossed; I will sequester your paraphernalia").
On the 5th of February he wrote on his blog that he "has found his strength and gotten over this phase". He has admitted that he is now single and available, "whatever pranks people might play on my Facebook profile regarding my marital status", not aware of the ladies in his School having a secret crush on him. There is a controversy over whether the "ladies" are really ladies.
“ | The Sun has finally come out!:) | ” |
— Sushi, MSN Status, 5th February, 2009 (If anyone know the actual quote, please change this. Thanks) |
To prevent further "girl disputes" from occurring, Sushi has signed a new agreement with his bodyguard company, Black Talon Hong Kong, which now implies that it is impossible to enter a radius of five feet of the great virtuoso unless if you had been "checked out and allowed" by his bodyguards. Sushi analogised this to "upgrading to Windows Vista and their incessant UAC prompts: 'A person needs to come close to you. Cancel or Allow?".
2008 first documentary
[edit]Sushi's first documentary film, IGCSE Chinese Sux, failed to make the Top 10 Movies list in Hong Kong, unlike what his advisors had told him. Sushi wrote on his blog that he "was not disconcerted--anyway there was no point, it was just a load of rubbish anyway and that's 'cause the Chinese teachers at the school insisted on 'taking a look' and therefore making a gigantic mess of it; good thing they didn't understand the word "Sux" and let it be in the final version".
In the documentary, Sushi featured a special lecture from a certain "Mr L", which lasted for 3 hours. Many purchasers of the documentary film DVD were "slightly bored" by the lecture. Students in his School, who affirmed to have been taught by "Mr L", agreed wholeheartedly. These were students who admitted that they were forced to listen to similar lectures in their lessons (one student described them as "the same as the DVD ones"), especially those who had chosen to take the Chinese Modern Foreign Language in Years 7, 8, or 9; they had horrific experiences of Chinese education during these years. Some students who had not chosen Chinese to continue their studies into the Advanced Subsidiary and Advanced Level General Certificate of Education had gloated over their Chinese-choosing counterparts' relative lack of brainpower.
February 2009 damage to rosin
[edit]In March 2008, Sushi acquired an expensive rosin that is rumoured to be worth US$900 thousand which was given as a gift to him by Jimmy Chang, who had been teaching college mathematics for over nine years. Sushi worships this rosin (and also the person from which the rosin originates), which is colourless. Mr Chang had described the rosin, which is of Zimbabwean origin, "just like the colour of limewater when carbon dioxide had not been added to it".
On the 5th of February, when an anonymous violinist requested to borrow his rosin in their Music class, Sushi aggressively attacked this lady and had to be calmed down by his ten bodyguards. She suffered a concussion and had to be taken to Kowloon Hospital, where she died. On hearing of her's death, Sushi immediately wrote to her family and published his email on his blog: "Oops. It was a slight misunderstanding, and i [sic] kind of stopped concentrating on my violin. My Zimbabwean rosin is of a rather less debased value than everything else in this world".
In the end, when asked again to lend his rosin to another gentlemanly violinist, Sushi reluctantly consented, but warned him to "rub your bow 'on the line' of the rosin, and don't chip off any bits".
March 2009 misstep
[edit]In March 2009, Sushi fell exiting the stage of Barbican Hall in London, and broke the rare and expensive violin he was holding into three pieces, initially reported as a Stradivarius, but later corrected to having been made by Giovanni Battista Guadagnini. Sushi had purchased the violin 1 month earlier for USD 1.3 billion at a private auction. Immediately after his misstep about 99% of the audience (which numbered 10,000, a record number for Sushi) rushed onto the stage to help Sushi up. Sushi then was escorted to a hospital, a 9,000-size mob following him into the personal ward. Sushi suffered a small bruise to his left knee.
One resourceful member of the audience brought some Cyanoacrylate (otherwise known as superglue) and attempted to attach the pieces of the violin in this primitive manner. He ended up sticking the detached fingerboard inside the F-holes, furthering the damage done to violin by cracking the F-holes, altering their shape. He also removed the bridge, throwing it behind him, believing that this was a fragment of wood which accidentally got stuck underneath the strings. With the violin in this shape he attempted to re-tune the violin, pretending to have absolute pitch but evidently not doing so correctly, tuning the second string to a B flat an octave higher than was the original A. His actions were mocked intensely by the audience on the stage which was not trying to console Sushi. The person was confirmed to be of a Mr. L Tam.
The Barbican Hall Maintenance Team was forced to charge each member of the audience USD$200 to repair the damage to the stage due to the mass of the people on it.
Sushi wrote to his fans that it would cost $120,000 to undo the damage done by the superglue and to repair the broken violin; that the insurance contract he had signed with the leading insurance company, Prudential, had refused to cover the cost of repair; and that his career would be ruined henceforth without his "prized possession". Of course, due to the uproar caused by Sushi fans, the insurance company not only covered the repair of the violin, which was performed by a consort of the leading luthiers in Europe, but also paid the cost of Sushi's new Stradivarius.
April 2009 damage to Ultimate Ears
[edit]Further in April 2009, Sushi was devastated by the damage to his custom-moulded Ultimate Ears. While alighting his limousine for a performance at the Carnegie Hall, New York, the Ultimate Ears headphones he was wearing caught by the cord in the limousine door and broke by the force. This was noticed by the 400 welcoming bystanders, who rushed to rescue the Ears and console the weeping Sushi. Sushi's Ears were new; they had been moulded for him only 12 days prior to the incident. His purchase of the Ears broke earphone records; Sushi's management team could not disclose their price because of the limitations of the exclusive contract he signed with the manufacturer of the Ears. This was the last straw for Sushi: he entered a second emo period (the first was due to a certain girl he likes). Sushi reportedly inflicted more wounds on his right arm, supposedly attempting to carve the phrase Ultimate Ears on his arms with a pair of compasses. His friends, upon awareness of Sushi's suicidal intentions, confiscated all of his stationery, including his Pritt Stick, which they believed could have been an inhalant in disguise.
Recovery
[edit]Sushi was plagued by a sleuth of unfortunate events. However, he survived (good news for all, bad news to none). Thankfully, his violin technique had not been affected, and some say it has actually improved.
Sushi can now safely say that he has passed his major career incident; he wrote that this "was a coincidence; a series of unfortunate events. My name isn't Lemony Snicket (wait... was that the name of that author? i seem to be misinformed) and that I have returned to playing card games example Texas Hold'Em with my fellow Gentlemen in my Form Group in my School. I'll be OK." Fans around the world and especially in his Year Group at School sent consolation emails to his email address by the millions and billions; Google Inc. released a statement saying that due to the volume of email received, Sushi would have to pay a levy to Google for the industrial-grade use of their Gmail service.
The 15th Anniversary of T. S. Bach
[edit]Concert
[edit]On 20th November, 2009, the 15th Anniversary of Sushi's birth, he performed at a concert celebrating his 1.5 decades of greatness. The concert even had two special guest speakers to congratulate Sushi on his success, and to call for more awareness in corruption and the environment.
Other events
[edit]- Sushi reportedly was flooded by millions of Happy Birthday Cards the shape of Sushi when he opened his mailbox, and received multiple papercuts.
- Sushi also received his first kiss originating from an inadvertent misunderstanding, and was the recipient of multiple declarations of love and hugs. Of course, the person from which the kiss originated later prostrated themself multiple times to Sushi to signify their shame and their plea for pardon from Sushi for the disgrace they brought to him.
- Sushi's Ultimate Ears, which had been sent to some guy in China for modification, was found to be on auction on eBay, and sold in the end for a record breaking $100,000,000,000,000. Sushi was furious since he had many memories with his beloved ears. He sued the guy in China, but it was too late since his Ultimate Ears has been already sold to a unknown buyer (later discovered to be Jimmy Chang, who had been teaching college mathematics for over nine years) a new record breaking $100,000,000,000,000,000,000. Sushi was deeply upset, and further inflicted wounds on his hand, causing him to be unable to play violin for half a year. Fans all over the world have sent emails to comfort the poor sushi and lead to a further crashing of gmail. With the whole world finding sushi's ears, news was received that the ears have fallen into the hands of a dangerous Triads leader (Jimmy Chang, who had been teaching college mathematics for over nine years). Sushi and 100 million of his fans had a gang fight with the entire Triads gang. Sushi's injured hand allowed the triad leader to take the chance to break his leg. Upon the breaking of sushi's leg, he has still successfully retrieved his ears and have now kept it in the dungeons of Sir Bob's castle. Also, as a token of appreciation from Google to Sushi for the registration of over a 100 billion gmail accounts, Google has created a Sushi edition of a new stable version of Gmail and also a Sushi themed Google Chrome OS. It is predicted that the Sushi themes Google Chrome OS will be used by 99% of the OS market, which will lead to the diminishing of companies like Microsoft and Apple.
Other Careers
[edit]As a model
[edit]While studying at the Juilliard School in New York City, as one of the first students to study with Itzhak Perlman, Sushi supplemented his income by working as a model. Some fashion writers have described him as "the Sibelius of the modelling scene". Sushi also was the sole creator of the Sushi Look, which involves the wrapping of seaweed around one's body. The "Sushi Look" was most successful and many young teenage girls were soon 'blown away' by Sushi's pristineness (if that's a word...bear in mind that I am not blown away XD). One fan was quoted to have said "the pristine of Sushi embraced my soul".
As a director of movies
[edit]Sushi was appointed as director of a historical documentary film for use of IGCSE study materials on Joseph McCarthy. He suggested many innovative and creative ideas, non of which was used, as he had refused to let the film use his cheesy soundtrack.
Sushi had recently expressed interest in the field of Canto pop, a genre in which he ventured into in his newest albumn, Japanese Delicacies, which had hit multi platnum status. .
After, a certain C. Lui introduced Sushi to the Korean Nine-druplets music sensation SNSD (So Nyuh Shi Dae), he has been fantasizing about one of the members, Tiffany. As Sushi spends most of his time "SNSD-ing", he is capable of giving out descriptions of each girl along with their personal details. He has also been dance to most of their songs, including their famous song called "Gee".
Future
[edit]Commitments
[edit]Sushi has recently vowed to use the abbreviation "LOL" less. Many would know that it stands for "Laugh Out Loud", yet Sushi uses it all the time, even when there is nothing amusing to laugh at. After some advice from his schoolmates, he set himself a resolution to say "LOL" less, but is currently "failing". One of his fans counted the instances of "LOL" on his blog page: the shocking result was 9709 out of a total of 9710 words. He has decided to use alternatives instead, such as the word "haha" and also emoticons to express his feelings.
Sushi's affection for goats with AIDS should also be mentioned at this point, and in 2008, he and his piano accompanists Messrs Jason Fung and Scott Wang formed a non-profit organisation entitled CAS (Coalition Against STD's) in order to distribute ARV drugs and contraceptives to the sheep population. This charity is funded by Sushi's immense treasure chest of profits from concerts.
“ | CAS is sole supported by Sushi, whos money fell like a storm into the treasury; we lived six months on one concert night and found extra money to run CAS | ” |
— Mr Fung |
Performances
[edit]Sushi is scheduled to be performing in Vienna with some orchestra, collaborating again with the famous Conductor Dude (pronounced Du-Dei). The concert tickets were sold out the very day that the concert was advertised on 20 January 2007, and some tickets are now available for auction at the popular auctioning website eBay, the greatest in value as last checked in December 2008 being one balcony seat worth USD$100 billion. Sushi plans to release a special edition DVD of the concert, which includes bonus tracks, including his top hit "Cheesy", and other music composed and performed by him. Sushi has hinted that signed copies will be distributed to his friends at School, as well as that he may upload the concert to YouTube for free according to demand, in the hope that he will beat the YouTube views per second record he set earlier in 2009.
Sushi was also invited for another performance in Russia; however, he rejected the plea by the orchestra (Sushi did not indicate which orchestra) as he had to care for the ill goat he had, named Pikachiu. The goat had AIDS. This act of kindness for his pet coincidentally was filmed by one of his many fans, and the video has now gone viral, with over 5 million hits on YouTube.
Discography
[edit]His latest release of "Cheese" (“Free”) at DECCA equally pursues this aim of arousing young people’s interest in cheesy music. The release contains arrangements and compositions of his own of pieces and melodies that have accompanied him in his life so far.
Together with his ultimate ears, precious violin, and his "Made in Zimbabwe" rosin, he gives concerts that include cheesy sonatas in the first part (accompanied by a bass guitar) and arrangements and compositions, as well as "Symphony No. Bob", written by his dear friend Robert Yang.
In Autumn 2007, Sushi was chosen by the “Flora” company (a company that manufactures margarine) as an ambassador for the launch of the new types of cheese and margarine from the "Cheese" collection . The event will take place in several different venues, including Rome, New York, Hong Kong, Berlin, and London. On this occasion, Sushi has been offered a Stradivarius from the “Gli Archi di Pallazzo Comunale” collection, and he will be playing "Cheese", his latest hit. A video of "Cheese" can be seen at YouTube, and has since its release on YouTube drawn in 12345678901234567890 views in one second, a feat that even Susan Boyle cannot match.