User:Jimbo Wales/beard

Moved here from User:Jimbo Wales Jtkiefer ^{T | @ | C} ----- 23:11, 13 September 2005 (UTC)

The Infamous "Jimbo's Beard" Debate

Jimbo has a beard (indeed, he appears in that article as "man with short beard"). It's right up there in that picture. Just look up a paragraph. You see, right? As of August 20 2005, a fierce debate has broken out. One anti-beard faction would like him to remove this 'unsightly' crop of facial hair for the good of humanity. A second anti-anti-beard faction wishes to put an end to the nefarious plotting of the anti-beard faction. A third beard-neutral faction arose in the shadow of the first two, who offer compromises (such as a soul patch) or contemplate diverting the battle to a new subject (such as the need for Jimbo to wear glasses), or simply remove all controversial Jimbo pictures (like that one you presumably just looked at near the beginning of this section, or possibly the previous section).

As of the time this modification was written (August 25), no consensus had been reached on the issue.

To those who find solace in the absence of beard-related information on this page, you have been officially spited.

It should also be noted that the beard has many features that are not considered, such as its compatibility with almost any Velcro system, its application as a low-grit sandpaper if trimmed to a proper length, and its limited-yet-present protective properties should any shrapnel become directed at his lower jaw.

A beard, particually a larger one, can collect crumbs and other food scraps that its owner consumes. These crumbs may be useful in the event of a plane crash that results in survivors being trapped on an unmapped and deserted island.