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User:Jeow

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Chronicles Of Mr. Jeow

A cartoon centipede reads books and types on a laptop.
The Wikipede edits jeow.

Are you gonna cry or are you gonna pay?

  • D'ya like it?
  • What's that? Man-nok?
  • Ambango ng buhok mo ah. Anong shampoo mo? (mock dating scene with Shie) *How many times do I have to repeat myself?
  • I asked you 'when'. Why can't you answer me 'when'?
  • Hilaow? Hilaow sir, can you hear me?
  • This is Mr. Jeow calling you from Washington Gas.
  • Sibin oh three, sibin five oh, wun thousand. Very important! (leaving a cb # on vm)
  • Korek! Korek! (to a customer)
  • Shitty zeroh

tres, shitty cinco zeroh, uno zeroh zeroh zeroh (spanish spiel)

  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • I love it!
  • Do you have the bill with you? How can you understand if you don't have a bill?
  • Don't look on the bill, listen to me.
  • Is there a gate or a fence at the property? (Cust: Yeah) What do you mean 'yeah'?
  • Don't look at the bill, it will just confuse you.
  • Do you know meter? Do you know reading? Put them together --- meter reading!
  • (sa Puerto Galera) Mababasa ba kami pag nag-snorkeling?
  • Buh-bye miss... (forgot customer's name)... Buh-bye ma'am!
  • How do you expect us to reconnect the gas at your property if you're not paying? (pause, pause) Thank you for calling Washington

Gas... (the 1st customer hung up)

  • You have two options: You pay the bill and we reconnect your gas, or you will be forced to

wear warmer clothes.

  • I'm gonna give you time... time to call us back.
  • Sir, have I ever lied to you?
  • And why would you like to speak to a supervisor? (after a few seconds)... May I have your best callback number?
  • Can you pay more? (negotiating a P/A)
  • (Equifax result showed a different name) Hello ma'am, we have a different name on the social. Is your name (read name on screen)?
  • (Customer asked for a sup) No! No! No! May I have your best callback number?
  • (Sup call --- puts customer on hold) Kolokoy pala 'to eh!
  • (sings) It's too late to apologize! (while setting up workstation, and with his signature falsetto)
  • 'Etch' for Harry *Do you have a pin and paper?
  • Is there anything else? (customer says no)... Formoreinformationyoucanalsovisitthewebisiteatwashingtongasdotcomthankyouforcallingwashingtongas!
  • Why doesn't it make sense to you, sir?
  • Customer: I have a question about my bill. Joe: And what about?
  • Bwinas tardes!
  • Ok, let's do the math (discussing the bill with the customer)
  • There is a de-PAAAH-sit on the account.
  • Are you a boy or a girl? (Customer: A boy) Ok, ma'am...
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • This (pause) is very important. (leaving a msg on vm)
  • (Isa pa!) This is very (pause) very important.
  • (Ayaw paawat) This is very (pause) very (pause) very important.
  • Mem, your bill right now is three hendred dollars and fifty nine cents...
  • Es of new, your accewnt...
  • Ees dees ees catherine larsen?
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • Hindi, this time around lang naman. (asking for a favor)
  • I'm planning to (trails off...) in the near future.
  • This is CHUVA from Washington Gas... (translating a spanish spiel)
  • Ano yan, tocino? (laughs) Kumakain ka nyan? Diba pambata yan?!
  • Nasan na yung mouse ped ko?
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • Where are you right now? (then, with more conviction...) WHERE ARE YOU EXACTLY RIGHT NOW?
  • Sir, I said $72, you said $50, now you're going back to $40. (pressed the mute button) Niloloko mo ata ko weh!
  • We are about to turn your gas off. Do you know why?!
  • Can you tell me as to when did you made you last payment?
  • Are you aware that you have gas bills?
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • (talking about a Christening) WOW! (falsetto) Bonggang bongga pala dun!
  • You maaaahyt be removed from the budget plan.
  • Your gas BILL is now up for disconnection.
  • My kwistion is...
  • To whom do I need to lokk for sir? To whom do I need to talk to?
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • Ito na lang -- koronik. (bumibili ng food kay mommy nida)
  • Call the hotline number. They will explain to you in detail how you've been paying, and how you broke your promise.
  • Believe me, I know how the process is with us.
  • The account was insupishint pfunds.
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • Have you ever received your bills, sir? (cust says no) As in ever?
  • Stay on the line, stay on the line... ha ha ha ha... stay on the laaaa-hahahayn... (to the tune of 'Staying Alive')
  • So what do you want?
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • HIIIIIIiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (singsong, to a customer)
  • Cool as back at sibin-oh-tree, sibin-fahyv-oh, wun tawzand. This (pause) iz Washington Gas. Buh-bay!
  • Can you hear me or can't you hear me? I said Washington Gas!
  • Hah-llow!!!" (habang naka-pamewang)
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • Mem, your account is ready for disconnection.
  • (customer says he can't make a payment) So what's the plan?
  • Are you talking about the eenergee assistans payment?
  • Sir, I AM Washington Gas.
  • How did you do it? Did you know?
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • That's what I'm saying. How can you convince me that I'm going to believe your promise to pay?
  • Mem, you need to talk to your tenant. Talk to your tenant. Talk. To. Your. Tenant.
  • Are we talking ON the same akewnt for unit number 2?
  • You're asking me question. I answer your question. Now you're contradicting my suggestion. So I'm asking you yourself, how much

can you pay?... That's why I'm asking you, when can you pay? How much can you pay? Is that hard to answer?

  • Can you speak a little nearer to your microphone?
  • Sir, are you ah.. with me?
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • So you're saying you don't have money in your chicken account right now?
  • Hindi mo kinakain yung sago? Ay gulaman pala? (referring to coffee jelly) *Perfect! (yung 'fect' piyok)
  • Nandito na si ate Che! Hello! (yung 'hello' falsetto)
  • Muchisimos Impurtante (leaving a spanish vm)
  • Do you think by shouting you... Why do you need to shout? Lit me ask this kwistion. Do you think if you shout, this will be resolved?
  • Do you know the reason behind why we charge a depaaaaahsit on your akewnt? Do you really wanna know? I think we need to know.
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • So you did not pay yourself. Last year.
  • Understand? (mute) Hindi sya nakakaintindi.
  • So what's your plan? Tell me your plans.
  • Why not? Can you tell to me? Can you explain to me?
  • What I'm saying is we will disconnect your service.
  • Magkano 'tong ti-la-PEE-ya'? (tilapia)
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • That's the reason why. Maybe. The payment. Was applied. To. The other akewnt.
  • This is pure irrelevant!
  • Of khohrhs!
  • Ka lurky ka! (reply to all sa isang funny na spam mail)
  • Dati gusto ko yung maganda talaga. Tas madiskarte. Marunong at ok kasama pero once you feel and you enjoyed being with someone and accepts you for who you are then your own standard doenst matter anymore.
  • You cannot speak with the president but you can speak with a supervisor.
  • You're insisting your part, which is not relevant so far.
  • It's so nice to be happy. Shalala
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • Sir, this is biri simple mathematics.
  • So, are you positive?
  • Sir, I think we've already talked about that. There's no point in discussing the usage.
  • Turn arooouuhhnd... brayt ays... every now and then I fall apaaaaahrt...
  • For insufeesheen fun
  • Do you remember making an arrangement yourself?
  • We are collections. We are collecting money for delinquent customers. Sibin-oh-tree, sibin-fhayv-oh, wun-tawsan
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • You agreed to pay the payment arrangement but you did not pay, so we billed everything back to you. You forget it?
  • I told you twice already. I just said twice that you agreed to pay yourself, back in February, effective March!
  • If you cannot make eyni payments today, you cannot make eyni payment arrangements. At all.
  • So what do you wanna do?
  • You promised again. So are you positive to pay? Ok, so how positive you are that you will make the payment? Are you sure?
  • Cool na cool lang ah... (nakapamewang)
  • WOW THAT'S NICE! That's nice ah, I like that! (yung all caps falsetto at may piyok)
  • Talaga?! (falsetto)
  • What do you mean by 'audit your meter'?
  • Sir, tell me, what do you know? What do you know?
  • That's much better ASIDE from paying nothing.
  • Are you going to make the payment today or not?!




AWEIGH Joe: sap Glenn: eto gutom.. Joe: musta Glenn: waiting for lunch Glenn: hws ek? Joe: aok Joe: musta anf reunion Glenn: masaya! Joe: nice Glenn: sana sumama ka Joe: nag anchors aweigh kami eh Glenn: haha enjoy! Glenn: pst Glenn: lunch nko Joe: k.enjoy



EGGLOG Joe: no ulam mo

Glenn: maling

Glenn: hehe

Joe: sarap nyan with egglog

Glenn: egglog?

Glenn: ano yun?

Joe: itlog

Glenn: ah...

Glenn: kasi egg na tas may "log" sa huli...

Glenn: di ba 2 itlog yun?

Glenn: bayag yat sinasabi mo eh!

Glenn: hehehe

Joe: hahaha.bumibili din me dyan dito.

Joe: 40

Glenn: aok

Glenn: __V

Joe: parang namamahalan nga me eh. 1 slice lang

Joe: magkano dyan

Glenn: di ba EGGpie yun? kasi slice eh...

Joe: ang sarap nun

Glenn: oo nga



HINGA

Isko: anu pagkain mo dyan

Joe: meron pang saging. kau

Isko: yoko nyan. ala bang pasta - carbonara, lasagna

Joe: d k kain ng chips

ISKO: anu chips? dapat FRITO LAYS

Joe: saging nga

Isko: chips?saging? pano naging chips ang saging? banana chips?

Jor: oo nga eh!

Isko: aok. so banana chips yung inaalok mo. hindi saging n saba

Joe: c jack d b parati may pagkain yan

Isko: honga

Isko: kaso hati sila ni major galang dun e

Joe: d hinga ng kunti. ala bang meryenda lang

Isko: hinga nga kaunti?anu yun?

Joe: haa. hingi k ng kunti. time out muna

Isko: aok. sabi mo kasi hinga!




BAYOU

Joe: bayou

Glenn: huh?

Glenn: bye ba yan?

Joe: cge dude

Glenn: aok..

Glenn: bayou!



NILAGA

Ingrid: musta ang koleksyon natin? dami ka na ba na-harass? hehe

Joe: la pa me c/p. kaw

Ingrid: la pa rin. walang makausap eh

Joe: tiyagaan lang

Ingrid: para may nilaga?

Joe: ano nilaga baon mo. sarap non ha.

Ingrid: adik. sbi ko nilaga kc sbi mo tiyaga. hehehe

Joe: hah ok. ibig mo palang sabihon ay pag may tiyaga may nilaga pala e2. hehe



KALOKA

Ingrid: sama ka sa pinatubo? feb 27

Joe: okay yan. magkano

Ingrid: inaayos pa namin pero nasa mga P2200 - P2500 per head

Joe: subsidized n b yan. ilang araw

Ingrid: may budget pero baka may babayaran pa rin. discounted na lang. day trip lang yan

Joe: ayy ganun. di bah overnight. hustle naman ata yan balikan lang

Ingrid: yup. lalo atang di kaya ng budget pag overnight. pero ok na yun. tska maganda mag-shoot dun. actually ako hindi sasama. haha. nsa baguio ako nun

Joe: bat naman. kaloka ka

Ingrid: hehe.. eh may family affair kami sa baguio

Joe: ano meron baguio

Ingrid: yun nga, family get together. tska panagbenga

Joe: aok. di ba penagbenga? hehe

Ingrid: pAnagbenga. hehe

Joe: aok. sori naman

Ingrid: hehe. super dami bang tao last year?

Joe: hay grabe. di mahulugang karayom. kahit san ka punta. super dooper

Ingrid: haha. pero makakapagshoot naman ako ng hindi ako nadadaganan? hahahaha. kailangan ba talaga may ID?

Joe: yup. pag ala dun ka lang sa labas. at good luck kung makakashoot ka ng maayos. kahit kasi sa labas puno ng tao. pero kahit ala kasi me id nakapasok me sa loob. hehe

Ingrid: nagteleport ka?

Joe: hahaha. kaloka ka talaga

Ingrid: nakakaloka talaga? hahaha

Joe: nag suot me ng pang invisible. hehe... nabalewala nga yung pagot ko dun eh. sayang

Ingrid: pagot? hehe. bakit naman? wala ka bang magandang mga shots? sayang naman ang pagsuot mo ng invisibility suit

Joe: sori naman. pagod pala. d ba nawala ung una koong cam. kainis

Ingrid: ah onga pala. di mo na-save?

Joe: hindi nga eh. dami ko na ring mga pics dun. ala pa kasi me pc eh

Ingrid: dapat gumagawa ka agad ng back-up

Joe: right now sa usb ko sini save. nasasayangan ako sa lens ko. yung 70-300. pang long range ba. paparazzi style. hehe

Ingrid: ok na yun, at least may back up ka. o kaya sa cd

Joe: pede

Ingrid: wag mo na isipin yung lens, nangyari na eh

Joe: yah, naka move in na me. kaso napag usapan lang kasi

Ingrid: anong move in yan? 121 or 123? hehe. wag mo kasi iniiwan lang basta ung camera

Joe: hahaha

Ingrid: wag mo rin idisplay. dapat discreet lang. ako nga walang camera bag eh. pag dala ko un, hindi halatang camera ang laman ng bag ko. hehe

Joe: actually sa bahay nawala. mas comfor table pag may cam bag

Joe: kainan n

Joe: oi gising. hehe

Ingrid: haha. im awake

Joe: aok

Joe: binate ko ng korean pero di makaintindi ng english. ok lang ng ok tas binaba na lang

Ingrid: ouwgh



AWEIGH, ALON ALON

Joe: oi

Ingrid: ei

Joe: musta ang binyag/shooting

Ingrid: ok naman. bakit di ka pumunta?

Joe: s tagytay kmi

Ingrid: ah onga pala. musta sa EK? ay nag-ek ba kayo? o tagaytay lang?

Joe: ka naman. sobrang dami tao. inabot kmi 1.45 hr waiting period per ride

Ingrid: haha

Joe: grabe. 4 rides nga lang kmi

Ingrid: anong rides yun?

Joe: inuna namin yung barko. tas realto tas may tubig tas space shuttle

Ingrid: ano ung barko?

Joe: anchor's aweigh

Ingrid: ah. ano ung may tubig?

Joe: ano nga pamagat ng may tubig ung kelan may alon alon

Joe: hah. alam ko na. rio grande rapids pala

Ingrid: hehe. dala mo ung camera mo dun?

Joe: syempre

Ingrid: eh di nabasa?

Joe: hindi. pwedi ngang gamitin kung tutuusin eh

Ingrid: adik. buti hindi nabasa. kc diba may alon alon nga?




BFF

Joe: hindi naman. may bag naman eh atsaka weather resistant naman sya

Ingrid: ah ok. kala ko nagshoot ka habang nakasakay dun

Joe: kung alam ko lang sana nilabas ko. kasi panget ung binili naming pagkamahal mahal tas malilit na picture nila. tas ang liit pa

Ingrid: haha! magkano ba ung pic?

Joe: 200 4pcs pocket size. ang panget nga eh and dilim pa

Ingrid: eh kahit nilabas mo yung camera mo, di ka rin naman makakashoot ng ganung angle eh

Joe: hindi ko mapi picture ng buo kaso we can shoot each other at least

Ingrid: ok lang yun, mahirap na madisgrasya, baka mabitawan mo or matalsikan ng tubig. hehe

Joe: may strap naman. sabi ko nga sa kasama ko if i knew i'll take a pic. kasi sayang naman yung memories di bah. hehe

Ingrid: ouwgh. onga naman. sayang ang memories with your date. hehe

Joe: theyre my BFF. hehe

Ingrid: ah group date ba ito? hehe. san na ung girl na nsa picture sa workstation mo? hehehe

Joe: hindi

Ingrid: alin ang hindi?

Joe: yung 2 naming kasama ang mag BF. pero collectively were BFF

Ingrid: ah ok



LUCKY WOMAN

Joe: grabe yung experience expecially sa shutlle space. medyo kaya pa sa barko eh. pero so bra yung shuttle

Ingrid: haha. ako once lang sumakay dun, gusto ko lang i-try pero di talaga ko mahilig sa rides. usually taga-bantay lang ako ng gamit sa EK. hahaha

Joe: ako din. i just wanna fell it and experienced para may mai kwento me sa magiging anak ko. hehe. ang lakas din ng loob ng kasam ko eh.gusto yung pinakamataas grabe talaga

Ingrid: ouwgh. magkakaanak ka na?

Joe: nahilo nga me sa shuttle kasi sobrang taas namin kami yung 2nd na pinakamataas. tas sobrang bilis. buti pa yung barko kahit kami talaga yung pinakamataas at least you have the time para makahinga habang umaakyat.hayyyy. but i like the experience

Ingrid: haha. teka, di mo pa sinasagot.. magkakaanak ka na?!

Joe: ano kaba

Ingrid: sabi mo kc para may maikwento ka sa magiging anak mo. hehe

Joe: yeah........in d future......hehe

Ingrid: ah. linawin mo. hehe. kala ko may on d way na eh. hahaha

Joe: hahaha

Ingrid: meron na bang lucky woman? hehehe

Joe: lucky woman talaga

Ingrid: oo. ikaw ang may sabi nyan eh. hahaha

Joe: hahaha

Ingrid: so ano? meron ba? di ka naman nagkukwento sa wave natin eh. hehe

Joe: ala pa

Ingrid: baka naman kc kasama mo na sa EK ung lucky woman. hehe

Joe: pero meron na kong kino consider. hmmnnn. im not 100% yet though

Ingrid: naks! bakit naman hindi pa 100%? kasama ba sya sa EK?

Joe: ki no convince ko pa yung sarili ko eh. hehe

Ingrid: hahaha. so ikaw ang may ayaw

Joe: gusto ko din sya. kaso as of now were just Best of frienship. hehe. alam mo to loved and be loved is the highest gift of all. hehe

Ingrid: yun o! eh baka iniisip nya talagang friendship lang ang gusto mo

Joe: <broken heart emoticon>

Ingrid: ano yan? bakit broken hearted?

Joe: hindi. thats actually a 2 hearts become 1

Ingrid: ah ok. haha



SPICE GIRLS

Joe: do you remember spice girls <musical note emoticon>

Ingrid: bakit? what abt them?

Joe: hold on pls

Joe: ung kumanta ng when 2 become 1.i need some love like i never ever loved before

Ingrid: onga. bakit?

Joe: ala lang naalala ko lang sila. i like their songs

Ingrid: ah ok. favorite mo ba ung 2 become 1?

Joe: not really but i like the melody.tama lang sa tenga.kinda relaxing



KULIKTA

Joe: sap

Isko: may pagkain k b dyan

Joe: ala kulikta

Joe: ala

Isko: huh

    • 'kolekta' raw un, sbi ni isko


WALA PA NGA

Joe: psssttt!!!

Ingrid: yo

Joe: meron na

Ingrid: anong meron na?

Joe: kulikta

Ingrid: ah, meron ka nang nakolekta?

Joe: la pa nga eh. kaw

Ingrid: sbi mo meron na?

Joe: la pa


BULAGA Joe: what is your ultimate dream Ingrid: haha. san naman nanggaling yan? Joe: ultimate job mo tumawa hahaha Ingrid: hahaha. kc naman nagugulat ako sayo. hehe Joe: hahaha. bulaga! nakakabigla ba Ingrid: oo eh. wag ganun. haha Joe: ibig sabihin di u handa Ingrid: di ako handa sa mga ambush interview. hahaha Joe: ay walay ka pala. hehe Ingrid: walay? Joe: naririnig ko lang din. ibig atang sabihon eh wala

DUGO AND EDWARD CULLEN Joe: c'mon boy. are a man or what Isko: huh? anong tanong yun? Joe: r u a man or what Isko: i am a what. and you, are u a man or what? Isko: anu n krissy Joe: kainan na Isko: anu ulam mo krissy Joe: dugo. boy. kain ka ng dugo Isko: ewwww Joe: ang arte mo naman boy. kw ano ulam mo Isko: ndi nmn krissy Joe: kain n u Isko: makalmn lng ako. ndi ako makadugo Joe: malaman din yung dugo ah. ang sarap kumain lalo kung pinagpapawisan ka Isko: huh? can you expound on that? Joe: nilagyan ko ng 2 piraso labuyo. sarap yum yum. hmmmmnnn Isko: aok Joe: grabe ang thrill Isko: thrill sa pagkain ng dugo? EDWARD CULLEN kaw b yan Joe: mas guwapo un Isko: huh Joe: atsaka maputi pa Isko: are you a man or what? Joe: ang sarap pag pawisan Isko: ewww dirty Joe: ang arte mo talaga boy

RR Joe: rr lang me Isko: anung RR? Joe: rest room

DREAM JOB Joe: tulog pa jackie. di ko na sya nakikita Isko: ndi mo n tlga sya mkikita kasi nasa 8th flr n kmi Joe: alam ko yun. bat di na sya baba Isko: pano kami bababa e nasa 8th kami nasa 20th kayo...haler Joe: hahaha. nagpapatawa lang me. bat di sya akyat Isko: ahahah. palusot ba yun? ikaw talaga... palabiro. hehehe. aminin

OR WHAT? Joe: isang tanong isang sagot boy Isko: ok Joe: wala na ngang ikot ikot Isko: go ahead krissy Joe: are you a man or what? Isko: hahahaha. anong tanong yun?-----man or what? Joe: bat di mo alam yung dream job mo Isko: aw aw aw! ano connection--man or what and dream job??? Joe: kinina ko pa tina tanong di mo sinasagot. mad or bading Isko: aok. wahahaha. MAN. e ano connect nun sa dream job? and you, are you a man or what? isang tanong isang sagot. Joe: pag man. diretso sumagot pag hindi madaming pailigoy ligoy. parang ikaw lang. hahaha Isko: oh ok. didnt know. hehe. e ikaw, are you a man or what? Joe: mwahahaha Isko: so bading ka...dami mong paligoy ligoy e. hmm. aminin. hehehe Joe: sinagot ko na nga ng diretchahan eh. bka ikaw boy Isko: weh?! chorva! hehehe

BANLAW Joe: gg Isko: sap sap sap Joe: meron ka bang tubig dyan Isko: meron, ikaw? Joe: ala eh Isko: bkit? nasan ka ba? Joe: d2 nag co calls Isko: e bkit wala kang tubig? ndi ka ba nagbabayad ng water bill? Isko: oist. bkit wala kang tubig Joe: hindi gusto ko kasing mag banlaw Isko: wahahah. anung babanlawan mo Joe: nasabon kasi collections khpon. Isko: ay---joke ba yun. KORONIK kasi e Joe: hehehe

PUCHE Isko: ndi ko matandaan. ako b kausap mo nun? Joe: oo di bah yung kay puche Isko: puche who? Joe: nung pinag uusapan natin c puche Isko: sino ba yun? puche? poochie? pucha? pucho? Joe: whatever

BAYOU ULI Joe: baboooo Glenn: bayou! Joe: weekends din ba off mo Glenn: oo. weekend din Joe has signed out

AS IN! Joe: anong oras kayo maglu-lunch? Sandy (wg collections): 2:00 Joe: san kayo kakain? Sandy: hindi ako kumakain pag lunch eh Joe: AH TALAGA? AS IN?!

ROCKERS (A LA 'MONKS') Joe: kain na u Ingrid: kanina pa ko kumakain dito. hehe Joe: huh ganun. talaga Ingrid: TALAGA! WHOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!! hehe Joe: WHooooooooooooooooohhh!!! ayos na ayos lets rock n roll!!! Whooohhh!!! rockers k b Ingrid: rockers? yess Joe: pppssstttttt!!!!!!!!! hah talaga Ingrid: eh ikaw, rockers ka ba? Joe: hindi nga Ingrid: anong hindi nga? Joe: yeah hindi shebangers lang. whooooooooohhhhh hahaha

MESTIZA Joe: ppsstt!! Isko: oi. musta? bakit? Joe: whats in Isko: ala naman. dyan ba? may pagkain ka ba Joe: nakakainis nga h. slo mo naman kami. tas d pa kami maka log in dahil sa sobrang grabe. meron akong meztiza dito. Isko: mestiza na babae? gusto ko yan! share mo naman! Joe: di ko sinabing babae, mahilig ka pala sa meztisang babae h. ang sinabi ko meztiza meztizang pastillas Isko: pano naging pastillas ang meztiza? Joe: eh siyempre may puputi pa ba sa kulay ng pastillaz Isko: aok. joke ba yan o twag talag sa pastillas yan?

SHEBANGERS Joe: oi Ingrid: oi ka rin Joe: ayos ka ah Ingrid: oo naman. rockers ako eh. hehehe Joe: talaga lang hah Ingrid: hehe. ikaw shebangers diba? ano ba yung shebangers? Joe: yeah yeah Joe: c'mon let's get it on!!! Ingrid: what do you mean 'yeah yeah'? Ingrid: hahaha! adik.

GY Joe: ppssttt!!!!!!!! Ingrid: oist Joe: what's in Ingrid: everything that's not out Joe: wow that's nice. very very nice hah Ingrid: very very very nice? hehe Joe: your so GY Ingrid: huh? what's GY? Joe: secret Ingrid: lech. ano nga? Joe: gaya gaya Ingrid: hindi ba GG dapat? hahaha Joe: gusto ko GY eh

YEAH YEAH YEAH Joe: oi Ingrid: oi ka rin. musta ang singles party? Joe: sobrang enjoy. grabe Ingrid: sobra na grabe pa ah Joe: nagmistulang showtime ang party Ingrid: talaga?! (falsetto) ano namang pinerform mo? Joe: siyempre pag pip picture. hehe Ingrid: haha Joe: o di bah Ingrid: adik. ano yun, nagdemonstrate ka kung pano magpalit ng lente? hahaha Joe: yeah yeah yeah. oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh Ingrid: huh? kanta ba yan? Joe: yeah Ingrid: anong kanta? Joe: alam mo yung rnb na kanta. sabi eh people are you ready Ingrid: ndi eh Joe: sbi ng mag tao ohh ohh Ingrid: huh? Joe: hows naman d hot air Ingrid: ayuns. hots. and full of airs. hehe. grabe daming tao at maalikabok. pero enjoy naman Joe: talaga

I GOT A FEELING Joe: oi Isko: musta? sap sap sap Joe: heto Isko: heto ano? Joe: tuloy lang ang buhay Isko: aok. mkhng makata ka ngayun a Joe: i'ge got a feeling Isko: that tonight's gonna be a goodnight Joe: yeah Isko: yeah what? Joe: that tonight's gonna be a good good night Isko: hehe. anu meron? Joe: my feelings is very diff this time Isko: can you explain why? are u inlove? Joe: hehe. it was so good to be with someone whom you have a natural/mutual kind of relationship with Isko: huwaw. sino naman ang maswerteng yan Joe: churchmate Isko: napaka swerte naman nun Joe: were just friends Isko: kala ko ba special yang nararamdaman mo Joe: remenber we had a party last sat and sunday. we had a great time last sunday Isko: i am not aware of that Joe: dance party Isko: e kala ko ba ---- TONIGHT's gonna be a good night? e tapos na pla Joe: malapit na sya umalis and since ala pasok nung monday we went to american cemetery Isko: huwaw. so dun kayo nag date? sa AMERICAN CEMETERY? Joe: not really. we call it quite time Isko: quite o quiet? bakit naman sa sementeryo pa? pede naman sa ibang lugar a Joe: sorry naman Isko: yun pala mga type mong place ah.. sementeryo Joe: di lang basta sementeryo yun Isko: "wait, there's more!" Joe: its like a park. malinis. alang istorbo. very solitude. sarap mag pics Isko: huwaw! Joe: i didnt really find her attractive b4 Isko: so nagpicture picture kayo sa smenteryong malinis Joe: kasi nga were just friends Isko: oh ok. pero ngayun may feelings k n Joe: d kasi sya yung tipo na hinahanap ko pero d pala ganun Isko: anu b hinhanap mo sa isang mate? Joe: d ko nakita sa kanya b4 but im not closing doors Isko: alin Joe: im happy when im with her. we can talk about almost anything under the sun Isko: cool. inlove k nga. naks! Joe: shes very diff of all my girl friends in our church Isko: ilan n b naging gf mo mukhng andami a. gwapings! Joe: i also had a best friend just like her pero di na gaanong umaatend. eh gusto ko faithful Isko: naks. ilan n b silang mga naging girlfriend mo Joe: girl friend means friends na girl ano ka ba Isko: i know ---- so means ala ka pang gf Joe: yup Isko: yup mron o yup wala pa Joe: ala pa Isko: aok. anu ba pamantayan mo s paghahanp ng gf? anu b mga standards mo Isko: huy anu na Joe: mya ulit Isko: nyek anu nga Joe: binabantayan nila yung isms matindi na ngayun dito

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND Joe: i just want to be happy. shalala Isko: shalalala. are you a man or what? Joe: oi. anong klase yan Isko: alin? Joe: are you a man or what? Isko: e andami mong paliguy liguy e Joe: basta ang masasabi ko to loved and be loved is the greatest thing on earth Isko: but that didn't answer the question Joe: what say you Isko: i am confused that's why i asked you Joe: ob course im a 100% man. no man is an island Isko: ok --- anu connection nung NO MAN IS AN ISLAND? Joe: mag isip ka nga Isko: sorry.. ndi ko maisip e Joe: 2 is so much better than 1 Isko: so 2 become 1

ECHO Mama Fe: kc dun (UU), pag may ghost call or released call, irereport mo real time tapos pakikinggan nila talaga yun Joe: tsaka dun ata, pag may released call, pinakikinggan nila talaga

VERY COMPLICATED Ingrid: sap sap sap Joe: ooii Ingrid: i saw ur pics sa fb ah. ung 'quiet time' hehe Joe: so musta naman Ingrid: is that the lucky woman? hehehe Joe: shes not the one na kunukwento ko sayo. thats a great friend. paalis na kasi sya papuntang dubai Ingrid: ah Joe: what do you think Ingrid: abt? Joe: her Ingrid: in terms of what? she seems nice. kala ko friend lang ito? or r u interested in her? Joe: very complicated Ingrid: bakit naman? Joe: i didnt find that girl attractive Ingrid: didn't? so what abt now? now you do find her attractive? Joe: im not interested with her Ingrid: antaray! hehe Joe: b4 Ingrid: u were interested b4? bakit hindi na ngayon? Joe: sabi ko dati hindi me mag kaka interest dito. pero nung i kinda sense that were really in good terms im my thoughts the other way around Joe: baka maguluhan k. nung napansin ko na parang click kami. i think it would be fair enough to give our relationship a chance na mag level up Ingrid: parang promotion lang ah. haha. so what happened? Joe: ala p siyempre. parang i fell like were both interested. sana lang we spend more time bago sya umalis Ingrid: so did you tell her how you feel bago sya umalis? Joe: d pa siya nakaalis. kakatapos nya lang mag pdos Ingrid: ah ok. what's pdos? Joe: seminar sa poea bago umalis Ingrid: ah. bakit, ano bang work nya? Joe: dati rin syang agent b4/instructress. tech Ingrid: ah ok. kelan sya aalis? u should make a move na. hehe Joe: ala pang exact date. nakakatuwa nga kasi. after naming mag quiet time. pupunta sya sa opisina. para mag pa sked sa pdos. tas d nya rin alam ibig sabihin ng pdos. guess what Ingrid: what? at "quiet time" talaga ang tawag? parang quiet room lang ah. hahaha. nag-usap naman kayo nun? Joe: tama hula ko. yup. kasi nga were bout christian. when we read the bible and pray we call that QT Ingrid: ah so nagbasa kayo ng bible dun? Joe: sabihin natin nag meditate Ingrid: ouwgh. at pagkatapos ay nagpicture kayo. at my dala ka pa talagang tripod. hehe Joe: siyempre. siyempre para kasama naman me sa picture Ingrid: onga. at nagtago ka sa likod nya. haha Joe: kaya nga hindi masyado maganda yung mga pics eh kasi naka tripod. hehe. it's really good to be true Ingrid: ang alin? Joe: to yourself. hindi nagkukunwari Ingrid: so sabihin mo na sa kanya Joe: not really. kasi i believe that thers a lot of way to show how much yuo lvoe and appreciate someone Ingrid: like? Joe: like giving them soemthing. spending time with them. through your actions. Ingrid: naks naman. eh pano yan, diba aalis na sya? Joe: kaya nga eh. but thats okay. we can still communicate naman eh Joe: to loved and be loved is the greatest gift of all... lol Ingrid: haha. talagang lagi mong sinasabi yan ah. hehe Joe: yuo've got to feed yuor mind with positive thoughts. so you'll get positive results... hehe Ingrid: ayun o! words of wisdom by mr joe Joe: hehe

ATTACK!!! Joe: Can you pay it now? Customer: I cannot. Joe: Why not?

  • Customer gets "kalmadong irate"*

Customer: I'll pay with a person who speaks nicer than you. Joe: You pay your bill. Customer: blah blah... kalmadong irate.. blah Joe: You pay your bill. Customer: Try to enroll in english classes before you call and harrass people. Joe: You pay your bill. Customer: Joe, I'm gonna hang up now. Joe: Pay your bill. Customer: Buh-bye!