User:Jburlinson/draft Projected Man

I've made a few minor changes to wording & spelling. If you object to any of these, please let me know and revert as you see fit.

Some initial reactions:
Plot:

• Other synopses I've seen indicate that the initial problem with Steiner's experiments is that the subjects' aging processes were speeded up and they died as result. The problem with the electrical charges comes later in the film. This jibes with my own very dim memory of this film. Would you mind verifying?

Production:

• It might be good to provide a brief identification for Alex Gordon and Richard Gordon. The casual reader may not recognize these names.
• Haliday was cast as "the producers were not fond of casting a British actor", and yet Mary Peach and the others were British. Seems a little inconsistent. Any further information available on this?
• The phrase "the producers" is used a couple of times. Does this mean Richard and/or Alex Gordon and/or Croydon, or are there others?
• Michael Klinger and Tony Tenser -- who are they, and what is their connection to the film?
• "As The Projected Man's special effects were not yet finished, he showed him" -- a little pronoun confusion. I figure Gordon showed Martin, is that correct?
• "...which Martin enjoyed and expressed interest in obtaining the American rights,[6] which he did for a "very large sum of money." -- This seems a little awkward. Is there a way to re-phrase?
• "no good for us financially," -- who is "us"? It's not clear what the relationship between Gordon (and others?) and Universal is, so it's a little hard to make out whose financial interests are being referred to.
• "it was cut thirteen minutes shorter" -- shorter than what? The British release?
• "to provide a natural running time" -- I'm not sure what a natural running time is. Does it mean that the two films together came in at less than 3 hours?
• Regarding the image: File:Bryant Haliday - Devil Doll.png There should probably be a caption identifying what the image is, perhaps making clear that it's not from the film that is the subject of the article.

Release: Reception:

• "Richard Gordon responded to the allegations, saying that "we weren't really influenced by The Fly" and "Projected Man does have a very strong similarity to The Fly..." -- this seems contradictory, although it wouldn't be the first time that a film producer contradicted himself. :) Would it be better to say something like: "While denying that he was directly influenced by "The Fly", Richard Gordon acknowledged that there were similarities..."
• There's no mention of the release of the film in the UK, where it was made. I think this might be a major aspect that ought to be addressed.

Mystery Science Theater 3000:

• There may be a little bit too much detail about MST which doesn't really relate to "The Projected Man", but I notice that some other articles, like "Gunslinger" share this same language, so there's a precedent in another GA article. Do you think it would be useful to link to List of Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes#Season_9. Just a thought.

General:

• Should include a section on home media -- this is pretty standard for GA film articles.

Good job on this article. I appreciate your taking the time & effort to put it together. Also, thanks for considering my comments. Jburlinson (talk) 21:50, 22 October 2013 (UTC)

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Checklist

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