User:Jameststurner/Erased de Kooning Drawing/Josephrkopta Peer Review
Peer review
Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects: LeadGuiding questions:
ContentGuiding questions:
Tone and BalanceGuiding questions:
Sources and ReferencesGuiding questions:
OrganizationGuiding questions:
Images and MediaGuiding questions: If your peer added images or media
For New Articles OnlyIf the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.
Overall impressionsGuiding questions:
Examples of good feedbackA good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.
Additional Resources |
General info
[edit]- Whose work are you reviewing?
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:Jameststurner/Erased de Kooning Drawing
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- Erased de Kooning Drawing
Evaluate the drafted changes
[edit]Lead
[edit]You might update the lead (either with a sentence or two, or with a small insertion of words) to incorporate this new section that you've created relating Rauschenberg to the abstract expressionists.
Even though you didn't write this bit, a citation is needed to confirm the Jasper Johns story about putting the work in a golden frame.
Content
[edit]The new section you've added seems appropriate for this article, and balanced. I'll be curious to see what other Wikipedia editors think about whether this is the place to add this insertion, or whether it would be better directly on the Robert Rauschenberg page.
You should post on the talk page of Erased de Kooning Drawing a short introduction to who you are and what your proposed modification is. You'll probably get feedback within a day or two! Maybe you want to do so also for the Robert Rauschenberg page (Check out Jillian's comments on the Talk:Shinto shrine, and the response she got)
Organization and Sources
[edit]There are two things that are missing in your draft: you need to link to other Wikipedia pages (relatively simple); but more importantly, at this point, you need to include your sources. It doesn't look like you've posted your sources on you bibliography page (User:Jameststurner/Erased de Kooning Drawing/), so I'm not sure what you've been consulting, but especially since your proposed change is an entirely new section, you absolutely need to insert citations after nearly every sentence.
Have you consulted Bruno La Tour's essay, "Iconoclash"? (Available as a PDF on the course Canvas). That's the most up to date theoretical scholarship that I know of which might better frame the question of "is this vandalism," which exists already in the article.
Images
[edit]This will be down the line, but maybe it's worth it to put up the SFMOMA's digitally enhanced images showing the original de Kooning drawing from 2012? You need to investigate first whether this is a copyrighted image before doing so. The Wiki training module for next week on images and graphs can help with this.