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Nick Ma***

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Nick Ma***

Nick Ma*** giving a presentation on racism
Full Name: Nicholi Richardsonus Ma***kus
Born: June 6, 1966

Compton, California

Died: No, Unfortunately...
Religion: Islamic
Occupation: Anything Illegal
Nationality: Russian

Nick Ma*** (June 6, 1966 -) is a renoun FPS-er, gang-member, and short-story writer. It is said he has been shot at least 10 times in real life. On the other hand, his lengend as a FPS-er roots from the fact only one person has got the "headshot" on him. Ma*** was a notorius gang-leader in Compton, CA. It is also a known fact he was the "Number 1", or supremely best, player of Castle Wolfenstein. Apperently, Ma*** left his gang in 2000 and gave up his seat as the "Number 1 Castle Wolfenstein Player" in 2004. Since then, he has begun a career in short-story writing, presumably consisting of stories about his life. It is rumored this short-stories will utimately be his memoirs. He secretly sends these to the publish, since he is a wanted criminal. His whereabouts are currently unknown.

Famous Quotations of Nick Ma***

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  • "Are you an ass!?"
  • "FIGHT ME!!!"
  • "Is this some kind of game to you!?"
  • "Is this some kind of recreational activity to you!?"
  • "BOOM, HEADSHOT!!!"

Childhood

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There is little known about Nick Ma***'s childhood. All we know is that his 9th grade history teacher played a big part in his life. He was one of Ma***'s most important role-models; He is apperently the one that taught Ma** about the Islamic religion that he would eventually join. Later, he ran away from home, at the age of 14, to escape his terrorising brother. His brother apperently attempted to murder Ma*** 30 times during his childhood. After that, for some 2 years, Nick Ma*** was a vegabond, living in the streets Compton. At age 16, he was scouted by the infamous "Zel-da" (Russian for "are you an ass") gang, run by John Moff***.



Nick Ma***'s 9th grade history teacher

Gang-member Years

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At age 16, Nick Ma*** was recruited by the Zel-da gang. The leader, Moff***, soon saw Nick Ma***'s ability as a competent gang-member. After nearly 5 years, Ma*** and his good "Homie", James Ma***, overthrew the gang to make it theirs. Shortly after, Ma*** would "dispose of" Ma*** to make the gang totally his. After going on a crime spree, he caught the heat of Federal Agent Kyle McKni***. McKni*** managed to bring down Ma***'s gang, yet was unable to catch Ma*** himself. With no gang and the heat of the Feds, Ma***'s short-lived Gang-member Year's were over.

Castle Wolfenstein/FPS-er Years

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The story goes that one day, Nick Ma*** walked into a "Super WalMart" when he found the love of his life - Castle Wolfenstein. He would quickly become a master FPS-er. He was named the "Savior of the FPS-players" because he pwned every noob on the face of the planet. For some 10 years, he constantly played Castle Wolfenstein, never losing a round. Then, on September 7, 1993, his world would come crashing down. He was playing Castle Wolfenstein late in the afternoon when it all happened. He was about to capture the final base to win the round, when, all of a sudden, "BOOM, HEADSHOT!!!". A player, later identified as Peter W***, got the "headshot" on Ma***. Ma*** knew his Castle Wolfenstein and FPS-ing Years were over.

The "Hidden" Years

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Nick Ma*** would go into hiding for the next 7 years. Not much occured with Ma***, except for a major incident that happened in 1999. He apparently shot himself in the hand, and went to the hospital. There, Ma*** attempted to shank the hospital's lead doctor, Dr. Dan Sm***. Sm*** apperently opened fire on Ma*** in self-defense with a shotgun hidden under his desk. Yet, Ma*** managed to make it out and once again escaped. Another 2 years would go by before Ma*** would emerge as a writer.

Short-story writing/Currently

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In 2001, a story/book publishing company recieved a short-story from Nick Ma***. They found the story interesting and published it. Over the next 3 years, Ma*** would publish some 300 stories. They would recieve rave reviews, except from one person. This person was Taylor McC***, a renoun novel writer that used the same publishing company. She did not welcome the competition of Ma***.So in 2004, McC*** hired a hitman, or more accurately, hitwoman. The hitwoman, known only by the name of Freiber***, has apparently killed 350 people over her career. She managed to trace where Ma*** was sending his stories from and nearly killed Ma***. He managed to escape, and is still writing today.

THE FINALE

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The Finale occured sometimes in early 2007. It was Kyle McKni*** and Dan Sm***, "the good public servants" vs. Nick Ma*** and Taylor McC***, "the evil overpaid writers". It took place at a "Super WalMart" in Compton, CA. The ensuing shootout was comparable to a Castle Wolfenstein battlefield. John Moff**, James Ma***, and Peter W*** were the only 3 witness of this event. They all ran out of bullets before anyone died. But before anything else could happen, Freiber*** ascended from Hell, and Nick Ma*** unnamed 9th grade history teacher descended from Heaven to stop the fighting. The meeting of these 2 characters was the ultimate confrontation. This resulted in an explosion comparable to the Big Bang.

  • The "Moral of the Story": Everyone eventually gets pwned!
                                          THE END