User:Giovini

Gio is an renowned wine connoisseur and is known throughout Australia for his iconic quotes and ability to consume copious amounts of goon. Gio currently resides in Townsville, Australia where he lives alone in the woods with his pet dog Mitsy. At the age of just 2 Gio first stumbled upon his first bottle of wine, A 1990 bottle of Maglieri Lambrusco which his father (see Edward the Great Librarian) had set aside to age for two weeks. It was love at first site, at this moment Gio decided that his life must be devoted to what he often refered to as "La Dolche Roso" or The Red Life.

History of Gio

Gio was born Gio Vino Fonzerelli into an Italian immigrant family in Townsville Australia on the 19th of July 1988.

Gio's Favourite Wine

Gio has devoted the last 18 years of his life to drinking wines from all over the world. His favourite type of wine is a fruity drop know as Lambrusco which Gio reccomends is best served chilled and straight from the cask (Take that Toni Mooney)

Gio's Famous Quotes

"Women are good for two things, rooting and housework... And mate, i dont have a house"

"A fine wine is like a fine woman, it should have a delicate body and should put out when shes tipped over"

"A cask is better than a woman beacuse shes cheap, doesnt speak and is ALWAYS ready to please"

"A cask of Lambrusco is like an snobby woman, hard on the outside but sweet on the indside"

"Drinking a cask of wine is like making love to an ugly woman in the dark, you can take it slow and savour it or you can pound her brains out and enjoy the buzz... either way youre going to be spewing in the morning"

Life Achievements

Gio can skull a glass of red wine in less than 1 second

Gio's quickest downing of a bottle of wine lasted a mere 2 minutes and it was red too!

Gio has managed to consume a case of wine (15 bottles) in a space of 3 days.

Gio can skull more wine than any other geeza

The Mooney Debacle

On the 17th of September 2006 the Local Bulletin printed an article about the local goverments proposal to introduce bans on the sale of cask wine before the time of 4pm. Outraged at this crass bureaucracy Gio immediately banded together a large group of his supporters to fight these new laws. Harsh words were said. Txt messages were sent. Comments were printed. But in the end justice and Gio prevailed with the dismisal of the ludicrous legislation.

Gio's Current Projects

Gio is currently rumoured to be brewing his own special label of wine. After boasting to several prominant members of the media while drunk at a social function he chortled that his new blend known only as "Buona Merda" would be a wine to rival such labels as Coolabah and Sunnyvale in taste and potency. He then went into the details of his unorthadox production methods which involved the placing of several slices of bread into a bag (for yeast content) then adding several peices of fruit and a few pints of water. This would then me left to sit until the yeast from the bread and sugar from the fruit would ferment to produce a wine with a bite to rival any crocodile or Wolfblass. With an unconfirmed release date for the first batch of wine at next week, more is to be expected on the topic shortly.