User:Dasherlover69/sandbox
Top Ten Reindeer:
[edit]#10- Blitzen
Blitzen is not as cool as the other reindeer. He smells pretty funky and looks like he got hit by a yellow school bus. He probably has hemorrhoids.
#9- Rudolph
Rudolph is the most overrated reindeer of the bunch, he also probably has hemorrhoids, except it isn't contagious which places him above Blitzen.
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#8- Santa Claus
Next on the list is this jolly ol' sac o' joy, AKA Santa. According to a Fox News report from 2015, Santa likes men and Ms Claus is a man because it has all been a coverup to keep children straight and hemorrhoid-less. Since he weighs more than 300 pounds (yes we're misogynistic) he makes the list at number 8.
#7- Vixen
Vixen is this low on the list because we hate her strong feminine energy, yeah we're still misogynistic and we're not sorry. Also, she does indeed have hemorrhoids.
#6- Tony Hawk
Tony Hawk makes the list at a solid number 6, just like his hemorrhoids. The way that Tony is able to fly in his Iron Man suit just makes him that much cooler than the real Tony Hawk. Tell you what, he sure is cute.
#5- Cupid
He was the first of the reindeer to contract hemorrhoids making his origin story far more interesting, rumor has it that cupid was the first reindeer to come out of the closet as homozygous. Cupid reminds me of myself back in the day.
#4- Donner
Donner has a brutal Sweet Mexican Black Tar Heroine addiction. He also deals coke on the side. He also owns Coca-Cola. He also has hemorrhoids. He also likes long walks on the beach. And that's not the only thing that is long...
#3- Dancer
Dancer of course, like the others, has hemorrhoids. Apparently, he completed the Call of Duty Black Ops 3 campaign on realistic difficulty with a guitar hero controller while blindfolded in less than an hour while simultaneously taking an online dance class.
#2- Comet
Comet is by far the second coolest reindeer because for one, he doesn't have hemorrhoids, two he has a sweet Ferrari 488 Pista. He likes dogs' tails.
#1- Dasher
Dasher is the best of them all because, like Comet, he does not have hemorrhoids. Matter of fact, he is immune! He also likes Malcom X. He participated in the French Revolution, and in the Battle of Gettysburg. He invented the online site Amazon, and the electric toothbrush. He played for the Kansas City Chiefs for 32 seasons and won 34 titles. He owns a mega yacht off the coast of New Zealand. What more could you want?