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Beerus

Punkin "Beerus" Franklin
Punkin "Beerus" Franklin
	Looks kinda like him ^^
Born	Woody; September 14, 2020 (age 4); Dallas, Texas, U.S.
Occupations	Housecat (2021 - Present); God of Destruction (Beginning of Time - Present);
Spouse	Alcohol
Relatives	Me (mother); Also Me (certified op); 4 siblings, including Dick Cheney;

Punkin Punkathin Franklin, (born Woody Franklin) better known as “Beerus” is an American cat, housecat, tabby, American Shorthair, and god of destruction. Franklin is an outdoor cat, meaning he spends most of his time in the wild, away from his family. As such, whenever he is indoors, his main hobbies are whining, crying, and screaming. I hate him, he’s an annoying, vile creature, and I hope much misfortune befalls upon this feline fiend.

Franklin grew up in Dallas, Texas, where he was a cat, and where he lived in a shelter. My mom adopted him after my other cat died, and much like Jaws (1975), the sequel was much, much worse. My mother decided to call him “Punkin,” but considering his gluttony and cruelness, I later realized “Beerus” was much more appropriate.

He scratched her eye and sent her to the hospital, so I was right. Take that, mother.

History

Franklin was born on September 14th, 2020 to unknown parents. He has no education, training, or employment. True discord moderator behavior. Despite this, he has a profession in knocking cups off of tables. Other things he is known for is eating my food, and distracting me while playing video games such as Geometry Dash, Terraria, and Sparking! Zero

Theories

As he is unable to communicate, many theories have been born about the true nature of his background. One theory, known as the "Spawn of Satan" theory, states that he was birthed in a lab, surrounded by satanic things such as deathcore, gay frogs, and catholics

Another theory is the "Reverse Isekai" theory. This theory states that Franklin is actually Beerus, from the Dragon Ball Z universe. In this timeline, Beerus angered a 4 year old, snot-nosed, lithuanian boy, only referred to as "Coldbowl," who reincarnated him as a housecat in a different universe. Evidence for this theory includes the fact that Coldbowl is, in fact, 100% canon to the Dragon Ball Z universe, and that this happened IRL, and that, much like Beerus, Franklin is a terrible, greedy, disgusting freak of nature that no one loves. Except for alcohol, his lover.

Education

No.

Personal Life

Franklin got married to his lover, Alcohol, on September 14th, 2020. You may notice that that is the day he was born. I know. His elder brother, Dick Cheney, was Vice President of the United States under George W. Bush from 2001-2009. Cheney also has an evil, supervillain-like plan to ban sports, fighting against famed athlete, Turbo Vicki. Franklin's stance on the disagreement is unknown, because he is a cat, and therefore cannot talk.