User:Barkeep49/Friends don't let friends get sanctioned

During my time editing Wikipedia I have seen any number of longtime editors, who've spent untold hours working on Wikipedia and who, by all indications, care deeply about it find themselves in trouble and end up with topic bans, desysoppings, community bans, and other serious sanctions. Looking at these situations, after the sanctions, it becomes clear in retrospect that there were missed opportunities for those longterm editors to course correct. But the editor didn't course correct and eventually the evidence built such that the sanction was imposed.

In a number of cases, I have found myself wondering (sometimes to the point of bewilderment), "Where were this editor's friends?" In fairness sometimes these friends were working behind the scenes (which is the right place for hard truths to be expressed among friends). Maybe they were able to stop a worst case scenario from happening and it's just invisible to me. But while that's true some of the time, in many of the instances which caused me to ask this pained question I know it wasn't true based on comments that the friends make.

Frequently the friends will be visible when the discussion has reached the point of serious sanction to defend their friend, but it can be too late by then (although sometimes not; sometimes it takes a few such discussions before consensus is formed to impose the sanction). Why had they not taken the chance to say "Hey, I really care about you and the work you've done. I'm concerned that you're going to end up sanctioned if you keep doing <insert behavior the community has concerns about>"?

In truth I know why they hadn't said anything in many instances. They hadn't tried because it's uncomfortable to do. But that still seems a lot better than seeing that person sanctioned (and perhaps driven from the project). Or maybe worse yet they were cheering on their friend even in the face of community disapproval. And that's too bad because more than editors at a noticeboard or ArbCom, it's friends who have the best chance to say something in a way that will resonate and prevent a sanction against a committed editor.

So if you're a wikifriend of mine, I'm going to promise myself and you that if I see something that I think you've gotten seriously wrong I will, with all the love in my heart, let you know. And if you're a wikifriend of mine I hope you'll do the same for me.