User:Avandrey

Mr. Eastham was concieved in the back of a Cutlass Supreme. Though this may seem hardly relevant, it is one of the few things Stewart knows of his parents, as they were lost shortly after his birth in a tragic fondue accident. Stewart was raised by a pack of rabid Hare Krishna's and to this day has a fondness for strange haircuts and airports.

Stewart grew up in Northern California in a town referred to by locals as "Rough and Ready" . It is also referred to by non-locals as "Rough and Ready" because that is in fact, the name of the town.

During his youth, Stewart played almost every sport allowed by the local government, full contact checkers being as controversial in Northern California as they were throughout the rest of the world in the mid-70's. Stewart, however, never played baseball. This flies directly in the face of the fact that there are literally hundreds of Polaroids of Stewart in a baseball uniform. When asked about this, Stewart is quick to respond "Are you kidding me? Are you blind? Can't you see how good I look in that uniform?"

After studying cryptozoology for over 10 years, Stewart spent much of the late 90's in pursuit of a tribe of Sasquatch living in the deserts of Southern California. After winning several hundred dollars in the lottery, Stewart decided to pursue a life long dream and moved to West Texas and spent a short time living as a gun slinger. Several hundred dollars not being what they used to, and West Texas having only so many cheerleader moms that could afford to hire him to take out the competition[1], Stewart was forced to find employement at a Los Angeles Law firm, surfing the net and testing that the firm's Censorware is in fact blocking content that could be considered either entertaining or helpful. Stewart is also a professional MP3 organizer.

Mr. Eastham loves to moonwalk and has an extensive collection of grilled cheese sandwiches that resemble religious icons. Being a huge Stephen King fan, Stewart spends every Halloween dressed as a character from his favorite book Christine, a 1958 Plymouth Fury. The costume is quite complex, and full scale, so he is not actually able to attend Halloween parties, but rather spends his time in the parking lot, attempting to run people over. The weight of the costume being the number one reason in 17 years Stewart has yet to run anyone over.

When not coining catch phrases like "act like an asshole you get fucked like an asshole", Stewart is hard at work researching how to take Jerry Falwell's now empty throne.