User:Aggiegal19

Good Articles vs Needs Improvement Assignment

Needs Improvement Article 1: Reader Rabbit

• Tagged for "May need copy editing"
• Talk page implies this article is of importance within education gaming categories but not many want to work on it
• There is a long edit history with a big change being to merge other pages that were a variation of the topic
• "Plot and Gameplay" subsection has no citations & the "Products in the Franchise" section is flagged for needing more citations
• The initial description section is very short (could be expanded upon) and has many errors
  • Could benefit from some sentence revision as well to help with flow
• There are many long lists but very few images
  • Only one table uses links for the titles of the specific game; the rest could be formatted to match
• The "Design" section could be expanded upon; seems short in comparison to the long lists

Needs Improvement Article 2: Summer Palace of Peter the Great

• Not tagged
• Only has four different citations which are reused through all the sections
• Started in 2010 and has barely a page of edits
  • Hasn't been worked on much
• There is nothing in the talk page
• The initial description section is a three line run-on sentence
  • Only explains location; could expand upon why it was built/by whom/it's importance (in history/architecture)
• So many run-on sentences
  • Very much needs copy-editing
• Majority of the sections and subsections are one sentence/line
• Could use more images including a better one for the quick-info table on the top right
  • The quick-info table needs more info: Who build was for; by whom; dates
• Run-on sentences need major grammatical help!!

Articles to Work on Assignment

Ranked as: 1 being first choice, 5 being last choice.

1. The Little Mermaid: Debate over ending section is made mostly of block quotes; Adaptation section could be formatted as table rather than a list
2. Afternoon of a Faun (Nijinsky): Specifically the Premiere and Reaction section with it's many block quotes
3. Christophe Lévêque: Living person but article is in desperate need of an organizational overhaul
4. Battle of Frankfurt: Needs organizational help & grammatical clarity
5. Summer Palace of Peter the Great: All the sentences are run-ons

Article Assessments

Article 1 Assessment Summary

Afternoon of a Faun (Nijinsky)

The primary audience of this article would be Ballet historians or the lay ballet lover looking for information on famous ballets. The purpose of the article is to provide a historical overview of an important ballet: how it broke from traditional ballet practices and the reception of those choices. It has a great foundation and a lot of good information already. The only difference between this and similar Featured Articles would be the length and certain organizational choices in places such as the reception sections.

Some of the things I would like to focus on are:

• The "Performance" section because there are quite a few block quotes that need to be paraphrased and I see organizational issues in that the different performances are linked to the reactions. Reactions (by critics, and public) could be separated out into it's own section. AT the very least, the title should be revised to "Performances and Reactions".
• The "Choreography" section has a similar problem in that the first two paragraphs talk about the design of the stage and the costumes (arguably could be their own section titled "Design".
• The "Other Art" section does not mention the poem that inspired this ballet at all and I think it could have a small paragraph here. Also the design of the ballet's program which is the picture in the quick text box at the top could be mentioned here as well (This would possibly require further research though).
• The lead section is missing any mention about the reaction to the ballet and would need a review after edits are completed to ensure consistency in the overview.
• A lot of the sentence structure throughout hurts comprehension and needs structural and slight grammatical help.

The talk page for this article is quite dead which is strange. Potentially the research in some areas will have to be consulted in order to edit for clarity.

Article 2 Assessment Summary

The Little Mermaid

The primary audience of this article would be those interested in Fairy/Folk literature whether for academic of lay-person interest. The purpose of this article is to proved historical information regarding The Little Mermaid fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson as well as direct attention to other variations and adaptations which (most of which are of modern relevancy). It has an okay foundation and the separation from Disney's version was a good step towards Good Article status. Any one interested in the academic field of folklore or those inspired to explore this tale by the Disney version would be interested in continuing editorial development. In comparison to other articles on literature, it is still quite short (it lacks a themes and reception section). The long list of adaptations take up too much space in this article compared to other articles of similar nature.

Some of the things I would like to focus on are:

• The "Debate over Ending" section needs paraphrasing to reduce the length of the quotations.
• The "Homosexual Subtext" section is very short. Older versions of the article included a "Psychoanalytical Themes" section instead and it could be helpful to combine the two sections.
• The list of adaptations needs to either be a text box or edited out. Similar articles include a section that has a few summary subsections on relevant adaptations with links to those Wiki pages. I think this section could benefit for that style and include a summary of Disney's version at the least. If the adaptation list stays, it needs to formatted into a text box list, however I'm not sure half of the purpose of this article should be to list out all of the variations of the story.

I see a potential problem arising in edit wars with those whose edits would be considered vandalism (looking through the history shows that a good chunk of edits come from reverting irrelevant edits, especially to the Plot section. One in particular wrote out the entire story).