The Footba' Referee

"The Footba' Referee" is a novelty folk song by Scottish singer-songwriter Matt McGinn first released in 1966.

Summary

The lyrics are written from the first person perspective of a man who regrets inadvertently becoming a football referee. In the song's chorus, he says that he would rather be an engineer or a sailor, and bemoans how whenever there is some kind of problem during a match, the crowd always gives him a hard time.

When the narrator was younger, he played centre half, but consistently called fair fouls, even when they were against his team. Two higher ups from an association football league spotted him and decided to make him a referee, as he was a "decent man".

When he begins working as a referee, his decisions draw the ire of the crowds. He serves as the referee for a game between the Rangers and the Celtic. A few moments after he got on the pitch, the Rangers' fans began shouting that he was a Celtic supporter and vice versa. After half an hour, both sides began to fight and the narrator tries to separate them. The players attack the narrator, leaving him battered and unable to move. The fans of both sides shout at the players to "...bury him and get on with the game."

The narrator is brought over to Italy to referee a game between Milan and Roma, however he is so disliked that the fans would bring in a helicopter to remove him from the pitch.

In popular culture

In the 2018 film An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn, the song is performed by Craig Robinson and Matt Berry, along with "Little Ticks of Time," another song by McGinn.