Template:Did you know nominations/The Rapes of Graff

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:08, 17 June 2015 (UTC)

The Rapes of Graff

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~~... that Alia Shawkat and Michael Cera guest-starred on "The Rapes of Graff", an episode of Veronica Mars, after the show was referenced on Arrested Development?~~

Reviewed: This is my first DYK nomination—my understanding is that I wouldn't have to fulfill QPQ. However, I did review Template:Did you know nominations/Adam Fleming (businessman) anyway.
Comment: Expanded from redirect

5x expanded by BenLinus1214 (talk). Self-nominated at 12:31, 11 May 2015 (UTC).

5x expansion verified – not from the redirect, but counting from the way the article looked before it was blanked on March 7, 2014. You seem to have added over 4,000 characters of new copy, not including the Synopsis, Arc Significance (which appears to be the same as in the earlier version), and Cultural References (which doesn't figure in the character count for DYK, since it is a list), so I accept your expansion. The article is new enough, long enough, well referenced, neutrally written, no close paraphrasing seen. However, I tagged the Synopsis section – it is far too long. If you could get it down to a paragraph, as in the earlier version, that would be great. Regarding the hook, the hook fact needs to be cited inline (right after the sentence in which it appears). However, I don't find the hook interesting or "hooky" enough. Yoninah (talk) 21:22, 15 June 2015 (UTC)

@Yoninah: Thanks for the review. Sorry to disagree with you on the synopsis, but this is an hour-long television program and the other synopsis was not detailed enough. Some examples of featured television episode articles with similarly-lengthed synopses include "Once More, with Feeling (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)", "The Stolen Earth", and "Pilot (Supernatural)". On the hook, maybe two alternates:

ALT1: ... that Alia Shawkat and Michael Cera asked not to play roles similar to the ones they played on Arrested Development when they guest-starred on "The Rapes of Graff", an episode of Veronica Mars?

ALT2: ~~… that Michael Cera was going to play a recurring character on the third season of Veronica Mars that he originated in "The Rapes of Graff", but he could not due to scheduling conflicts?~~ BenLinus1214 (talk) 01:22, 16 June 2015‎ (UTC)

I realize that WP:OTHERSTUFFEXISTS, but this doesn't read like a synopsis, it reads like a script. And so much for a one-hour show? I really think you can summarize it more. I like ALT1; hook ref verified and cited inline. BTW footnote 7 is not opening for me. Yoninah (talk) 14:24, 16 June 2015 (UTC)

Well, per WP:TVPLOT, plot synopses for an hour-long TV show should be between 200 and 500 words. I cut it down to about 390 words. Also, Television Without Pity, ref 7, is now opening for me now. It's down a lot because the website isn't active anymore. BenLinus 1214^talk 17:57, 16 June 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for trimming the Synopsis; it's definitely an improvement. I can also open footnote 7 now. We're good to go with ALT1. Yoninah (talk) 18:29, 16 June 2015 (UTC)