Template:Did you know nominations/Sian Williams (rugby player)

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:15, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Sian Williams (rugby player)

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Sian Williams, in 2016

~~... that Sian Williams (pictured) is the first Welsh professional women's rugby union player?~~

Reviewed: Hygrophorus pudorinus

Created by Miyagawa (talk). Self-nominated at 14:00, 6 May 2016 (UTC).

Article is new enough (created 2 May). Article is just long enough, neutral prose with inline references to substantiate the hook. The hook is short enough and interesting. Copyvio detector does not reveal any copyvio issues in the article. QPQ ok. A OGL-licensed picture is provided too. Drchriswilliams (talk) 19:03, 8 May 2016 (UTC)

The hook could be fine-tuned more:
ALT1: ... that the Royal Air Force granted Senior Aircraftwoman Sian Williams (pictured) elite athlete status so she could sign a professional contract with the Wales women's national rugby union team? Yoninah (talk) 20:20, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

While you have a point that it could be more specific, the first hook isn't untrue and is a lot punchier to the average reader. Miyagawa (talk) 21:47, 12 May 2016 (UTC)

@Miyagawa: whenever I see a woman doing a "first" I get suspicious. In this case, the article doesn't specifically say she is the first Welsh professional women's rugby union player, only that she is the first woman to be granted elite athlete status by the RAF. Perhaps you could make the hook fact clearer in the article and source it. Yoninah (talk) 10:08, 13 May 2016 (UTC)

@Yoninah: It's in the subject/title of citation number 4. Miyagawa (talk) 16:30, 13 May 2016 (UTC)

*@Miyagawa: ALT2: ... that Sian Williams (pictured) became the first ~~full-time~~ professional player in the Wales women's national rugby union team, after the Royal Air Force granted her elite athlete status in 2016?

I had similar concerns to @Yoninah: about the sweeping nature of the claim in the original hook. Looking closer I see other news reports qualify the claim as "first full-time professional player". [1], [2]. Another source describes her as "the first woman to sign a professional contract with Wales" [3]. Drchriswilliams (talk) 17:34, 14 May 2016 (UTC)

I'm happy with Alt2, it's a good hybrid of the two. Miyagawa (talk) 21:20, 14 May 2016 (UTC)

ALT2 hook refs verified and cited inline. However, nothing is said in the article or sources about "full-time", so I struck that. Rest of review per Drchriswilliams. ALT2 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 13:48, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

I see that "full time" is mentioned in the links Drchriswilliams provided in his comment, but they do not appear in the article as refs. If @Miyagawa: wishes to add them, we can add back "full time". Yoninah (talk) 13:51, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

I'm happy with how it is, as it's a little bit more succinct. Miyagawa (talk) 17:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

OK, thanks. Reiterating ALT2 approval tick. Yoninah (talk) 21:03, 15 May 2016 (UTC)