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Template:Did you know nominations/Serenade (poems)

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:30, 15 April 2018 (UTC)

Serenade (poems)

[edit]
  • ... that J. Slauerhoff's collection Serenade (1930) provoked critical responses ranging from "childish" to "pure lyric" with "refined technique"? Marsman, Hendrik (1931). "Slauerhoff: Eldorado". Kort Geding (in Dutch). pp. 39–51; Vriesland, Victor E. van (1958) [1930, 1948]. "Slauerhoff's romantische werkelijkheidszin". Onderzoek en vertoog (in Dutch). pp. 78–89.

Created by Drmies (talk). Self-nominated at 01:33, 7 March 2018 (UTC).

Interesting, on good sources, no copyvio obvious. - I am not happy with the hook, - too many short quotes, and not even interesting ones. I am not happy with the lead, which is not a summary of what is said below. Ideas? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:22, 9 March 2018 (UTC)
One more wish: translate the title De Voorpost. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:24, 9 March 2018 (UTC)
  • Gerda Arendt, lead rewritten some, title translated. Better? Don't quite know how much more to do with the hook. Drmies (talk) 01:25, 12 March 2018 (UTC)
Thank you. My take at the hook would be
ALT1: ... that J. Slauerhoff's poem collection Serenade of 1930 provoked critical responses ranging from "childish" to "pure lyric"?
I like the "phrase "beleaguered life" but understand that it's difficult to use in a hook, especially as it's only a translation. Better perhaps: "'Voorpost' as emblematic of Slauerhoff's life and desire."
I approve both wordings of the same, offline sources accepte AGF, but will watch for other ideas. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 08:58, 12 March 2018 (UTC)

Hi, I came to move this to queue, and there's a {{fact}} tag on one paragraph - can this be looked at? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:58, 11 April 2018 (UTC)

@Drmies: Could you add a citation where the article is tagged so that this nomination can be promoted. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:27, 15 April 2018 (UTC)
Not sure why The Rambling Man put that tag in there, Cwmhiraeth--it's basic plot/table of contents. See MOS:PLOT. Drmies (talk) 15:07, 15 April 2018 (UTC)
Ah, well that's an easy fix. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:17, 15 April 2018 (UTC)