Template:Did you know nominations/Marcus A. Smith

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Mentoz86 (talk) 11:18, 22 September 2012 (UTC)

Marcus A. Smith

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... that Arizona Territorial Delegate Mark Smith (pictured) was accused of receiving gold from the Wham Paymaster Robbery?

ALT1:... that despite none of the defendants being Mormon, Congressional Delegate Mark Smith (pictured) received most of the "Mormon vote" for his work as a defense attorney during the Wham Paymaster Robbery trial?
ALT2:... that following an electoral defeat, Marcus A. Smith (pictured) transformed from a long-term conservative into a progressive?
Reviewed: Palatine Light
Comment: Other image options available at Commons:Category:Marcus Aurelius Smith. --Allen3 ^talk 19:09, 15 September 2012 (UTC)

Created/expanded by Allen3 (talk). Self nom at 20:46, 5 September 2012 (UTC)

This is my first nomination to DYK and my first review, so another editor should check and verify this. I approve of the article as it seems to meet all of the basic DYK requirements. It could use a few grammar and style adjustments (I'll do my best in assisting in this). The first hook is fun, but because it doesn't specify exactly who accused him, I would disqualify it. Same for the second hook, which goes over 200 characters and is a bit wordy. The third hook I like, but my personal preference would be to use the wording from "transformed from a long-term..." to "switched from being a long-term..." Finally, there's a sentence in the article from one of the sources that makes no sense to me: "Smith longed to be with "my dogs and gun mt friends, my fishing rod, the trees..."Lenschulwitz (talk) 03:38, 21 September 2012 (UTC)

This looks like a good first review, and it's a very impressive article. Confirming that a 5x expansion was made on September 5, the day this was nominated. The problematic sentence—"mt" was "my" and a comma was missing—has been fixed.

Technically, all three hooks are within the rules. It isn't necessary to give all the details in the hook, so as the original hook is accurate in what it says, it's fine, and I'm approving it. The second hook is quite long, though the rules do say that "(pictured)" doesn't count in the character total, which brings it below the magic 200. Still, 200 is a maximum, and hooks that are close can still not be approved at the reviewer's discretion. My preference is for the original hook, with ALT2 a distant second (it doesn't hook me nearly as well, though I agree that "transformed" should be changed to "switched" or even "changed"). I think ALT1 suffers from its length and still not being able to include that he was the Arizona Territory delegate, which would help it make sense; I also think "for his work" is odd. BlueMoonset (talk) 18:38, 21 September 2012 (UTC)