Template:Did you know nominations/Koyomi Araragi

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by reviewer, closed by AirshipJungleman29 talk 18:22, 19 January 2024 (UTC)

Koyomi Araragi

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• ... that Koyomi Araragi's narrations in Monogatari light novels and subsequent anime series led to his voice actor Hiroshi Kamiya to read all books to understand the character? Source:
  • Reviewed:

Created by Tintor2 (talk). Self-nominated at 21:35, 2 November 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Koyomi Araragi; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.

General: Article is new enough and long enough
New enough: Long enough:

Policy compliance:

• Adequate sourcing: - n
• Neutral:
• Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing: - n

Hook eligibility:

• Cited:
• Interesting: - n

QPQ: - Not done
Overall: Article was nominated within first 7 days of 5x expansion. Article is at least 1,500 characters of prose and is long enough. Wording is neutral but some sections are not sourced; are you placing sources after paragraphs? Earwig picked up 47.1% copyright violation, making plagiarism "likely." I think it's because some sections that cite interviews are worded too closely to the original. The hook is sourced but it doesn't seem particularly interesting... lots of actors end up reading the source material of something they're working on eventually so it doesn't seem unique. Can you suggest another ALT? QPQ is also not yet done. lullabying (talk) 08:36, 23 November 2023 (UTC) I tried rewording the entire article. The only content that I kept similar to other articles is the role in novels. I can't think of a good hook. ALT1: Koyomi Araragi's hair was reversed to symbolize his immature personality in the prequel novel Kizumonogatari?

• Did you know Koyomi Araragi's thoughts are divided into three factions in the narrative of the Monogatari novels and anime?
• Did you know Koyomi Araragi was not meant to start a romantic relationship with Senjougahara in the Monogatari series?

@Lullabying: Sorry. Forgot to ping.Tintor2 (talk) 22:29, 23 November 2023 (UTC)

Just a comment but I'd suggest not going with the last hook. It only appeals to anime fans and would require specialist knowledge of the Monogatari series. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 03:06, 24 November 2023 (UTC)

@Lullabying: are you able to approve any of the ALTs above? If not, what needs to be done to get this article approved? Z1720 (talk) 01:54, 25 November 2023 (UTC)

I think ALT1 is fine, as ALT2 doesn't define what those factions are and ALT3 contains specialist knowledge. QPQ still needs to be done. lullabying (talk) 22:46, 25 November 2023 (UTC)

Also, what makes Fandom Spot a reliable source? ScreenRant and CBR I can tentatively see, but not Fandom Spot. lullabying (talk) 22:47, 25 November 2023 (UTC)

@Lullabying: Removed Fandom Spot. I confused it with Chris Beveridge's Fandompost. Not sure about other sources but if you find them useless I'll remove them. Still, I think it's the reviewer's choice to what is the most appropriate hook. Thanks for the feedback.Tintor2 (talk) 23:07, 25 November 2023 (UTC)

Seems good to go. AGF on print sources. lullabying (talk) 23:56, 25 November 2023 (UTC)

@Tintor2 and Lullabying: per WP:DYKCOMPLETE, the article is required to be presentable before an appearance on the main page; however, it is full of spelling, puncutation, and grammar mistakes. The opening paragraph of the body, for example, is near-incomprehensible. Take the first sentence alone:

• Across several changes in regards to the Monogatari light novels, Nisio Isin said that Araragi was meant to be a "stud" and abandon his desires and lose his propensity for love.tions with Araragi. "in regards to" is not English; how can you say something across several changes; what are the Monogatari light novels; "love.tions"; "and ... and"; what desires, what propensity for love; who is Nisio Isin??

I would suggest a substantial copyedit, either at WP:GOCE or from asking a copyeditor, because this article cannot be promoted in its current state. Alternatively, if you don't want to do that, this nomination will be rejected. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 13:18, 25 December 2023 (UTC)

Comment I tried rewriting most of the article and asked for a user to revise the prose. It'll take some days since these are some busy times though.Tintor2 (talk) 22:34, 25 December 2023 (UTC)

@AirshipJungleman29 and Tintor2: Have the concerns been addressed? Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 06:49, 7 January 2024 (UTC)

@Narutolovehinata5: Harushiga copyedited the article.Tintor2 (talk) 13:57, 7 January 2024 (UTC)

No. Take the following three sentences: He divided the text and devoted himself to processing it in a form close to the narration. Frequent switching between monologues and narration mixes objective explanations with the feelings of the Araragi which brought him difficulties. The number of sentences was overwhelmingly large, so if there is a number of words that one person could speak in a day, which led to several problems during recordings of the anime. I have no clue what "processing it in a form close to the narration" means; the second sentence is incomprehensible; the third sentence contains a malfunctioning conditional clause. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 13:24, 8 January 2024 (UTC)

If the article is not improved in the next few days Tintor2, this nomination will be rejected. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 16:30, 19 January 2024 (UTC)

@AirshipJungleman29: I doubt I can ask for another copyedit so quickly so I'd say it's best if it rejected.Tintor2 (talk) 18:19, 19 January 2024 (UTC)

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