Template:Did you know nominations/Jordan Anderson

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by PFHLai (talk) 11:10, 23 September 2012 (UTC)

Jordan Anderson

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... that African-American former slave Jordan Anderson (pictured) wrote a deadpan reply to his former master's request that he come back to work for him in which he requested 32 years' back pay as evidence of good faith?

Reviewed: Ray Long
Comment: Hook seems wordy, I'd appreciate suggestions. I also happen to love the "Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me" line but I'm not sure it can really go in the hook.

Created/expanded by Roscelese (talk), Green Cardamom (talk). Nominated by Roscelese (talk) at 05:50, 9 September 2012 (UTC)

Alt hook ... that Jordan Anderson, an African-American slave freed during the Civil War, wrote a letter to his former master asking for 32 years of back pay?
Alt hook ... that Jordan Anderson, an African-American slave freed during the Civil War, wrote a letter to his former master asking for 52 years of back pay [for he and his wife]?

Or "..his wife and self?" Not sure of the proper grammar, or if needed. Jordan in the letter asked for 32 years for himself and 20 years for his wife. -- Green Cardamom (talk) 01:51, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

Article was nominated on Sept 9 - so getting all technical the expansion should've started on Sept 4. Counting it that way, it satisfies the x5 criteria. Article wise everything checks out. I guess the only question is the hook. I would go with:

"...that when African-American former slave Jordan Anderson (pictured) was asked to come back and work for his old master, he replied with a deadpan letter asking for 52 years' back pay as proof of good faith?"

The article says 52 years so I'm sticking with that (readers can read the article and learn that it was for Jordan and his wife). Also, not counting the "pictured" this alt fits within the length requirement.

Volunteer Marek 06:49, 23 September 2012 (UTC)

I like your hook suggestion. I'm also fine with not specifying the 32/20 breakdown of the back pay. –Roscelese (talk ⋅ contribs) 07:05, 23 September 2012 (UTC)

Good hook. --Green Cardamom (talk) 07:59, 23 September 2012 (UTC)