Template:Did you know nominations/John Chambers (1839?-1903)

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 01:54, 1 August 2012 (UTC)

John Chambers (1839?-1903)

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~~... that the first successful ironsands steel production company in New Zealand failed because a bricklayer was shot?~~

Created/expanded by Chaosdruid (talk). Self nom at 20:39, 20 July 2012 (UTC)

Excellent expansion of a stub I created, but the hook needs to link to the article and the shooting was only a contributing factor. I suggest something like the following. Stuartyeates (talk) 10:42, 21 July 2012 (UTC)

ALT1 ... that John Chambers built the first ironsand smelter in New Zealand at Onehunga?

As the sources say that the guy that shot the bricklayer was the only person who could successfully run the process, and the business failed because no-one could recreate the method properly, I thought that was more interesting as a hook than the founding of the smelt. It seems that this might also be one of the first, if not the first, ironsands extraction process. Chaosdruid (talk) 22:04, 21 July 2012 (UTC)

After some deliberation, how about:

ALT2 ... that the first successful ironsands steel production company in New Zealand was started by John Chambers, and failed because a bricklayer was shot?

I have struck the original hook, which does not link to the article. Sourced, new enough, long enough, interesting. Good to go. ALT1 works, ALT2 is more interesting. Both are sourced. But maybe a shorter hook, e.g. ALT3 below, is better. Aymatth2 (talk) 14:48, 30 July 2012 (UTC)

ALT ... that the ironsands steel production company started by John Chambers eventually failed because a bricklayer was shot?

Beautifully succinct - thanks for that :¬) Chaosdruid (talk) 05:22, 31 July 2012 (UTC)