Template:Did you know nominations/Herman Asaribab

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 19:52, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

Herman Asaribab

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~~... that Governor of Papua, Lukas Enembe, pledged to financially support Herman Asaribab in an attempt to promote him as a flag officer?~~ Source: Pemerintah Provinsi Papua (17 July 2013). "Gubernur : Herman Asaribab Akan Dikirim Sekolah Ke AS". www.papua.go.id. Retrieved 2020-12-15.

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Adolf Hitler (Calypso)
Comment: Flag officer = general

Created by Jeromi Mikhael (talk). Self-nominated at 10:49, 15 December 2020 (UTC).

New enough, long enough, neutrally written, well referenced. As all sources are foreign-language, unable to check for close paraphrasing. Images are freely licensed. QPQ done.
I don't think the hook wording accomplishes what you want. Since flag officer is not linked, one would think that it is a lowly position. Why else would he need financial support? Also, it would be helpful to the reader to add more to the article on this subject so he sees more than is in the hook. Can you add any more to the article from the source to indicate why the governor's offer was notable or why he needed to offer support? Yoninah (talk) 20:10, 20 December 2020 (UTC)

@Yoninah: You're right. I'll think a while for this one.Regards, Jeromi Mikhael ^(marhata) 16:34, 21 December 2020 (UTC)

@Yoninah:, please close this. I can't think of any proper hook for this. Sorry for the incovenience. Regards, Jeromi Mikhael ^(marhata) 03:27, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

Why not just write:

ALT1: ... that Governor of Papua Lukas Enembe pledged financial support to send Indonesian military commander Herman Asaribab to the United States Army Command and General Staff College? Yoninah (talk) 16:34, 6 January 2021 (UTC)

@Yoninah: That would do too! Thank you for creating that hook!Regards, Jeromi Mikhael ^(marhata) 05:40, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

@Jeromi Mikhael: Thank you. But the source doesn't actually name the United States Army Command and General Staff College. Do you have a source that states where he studied in the U.S.? Otherwise we'd have to write:
ALT2: ~~... that Governor of Papua Lukas Enembe pledged financial support to send Indonesian commander Herman Asaribab to the United States to study military science?~~ Yoninah (talk) 10:47, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

@Yoninah: But there's a thing here. The source also mentions dimana, dulu Presiden Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono juga mengikuti ilmu militer (where Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono previously studied military science). It literally refers to USAC-GSC. Yudhoyono also studied there, and that's Yudhoyono's only trip to USA during his military service. Regards, Jeromi Mikhael ^(marhata) 10:55, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

@Jeromi Mikhael: I saw that. So please add another citation verifying that Yudhoyono went to that specific college. Yoninah (talk) 11:00, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

@Yoninah: Done Regards, Jeromi Mikhael ^(marhata) 11:28, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

Thank you. We need a different reviewer for ALT1. Pinging Kingsif. Yoninah (talk) 11:52, 7 January 2021 (UTC)

Per Yoninah's review and approving Alt1. It would probably work better if the bold link was earlier in the sentence, but as-is it also leaves the reader guessing so that's fine, too. Kingsif (talk) 11:55, 7 January 2021 (UTC)