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Template:Did you know nominations/HZE ions

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 14:03, 12 January 2013 (UTC)

HZE ions

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Created by Uruiamme (talk). Self nom at 22:06, 9 January 2013 (UTC)

  • Comment - could the hook be more understandable to the average reader? It's hard to tell from your hook what 'damage' you're referring to - damage to buildings? damage to meteroids? Perhaps 'but they cause as much damage to the human body as protons that make up 85%' will do? Kayau (talk · contribs) 11:54, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
  • Try ALT1 or ALT2. I had thought of the exact same thing, but I wanted to minimize the length of the hook. A shorter hook (like a title of a newspaper article) can be somewhat difficult to comprehend. I think the purpose in both situations is to have the person reading the hook or title to want to read further about the situation. I don't prefer the below two alternate hooks, but here they are in all their glory. To answer your question, the "damage" is actually "biological damage," which is a technical term for what happens when ionizing radiation is absorbed by the body. I like to saw logs! (talk) 21:01, 10 January 2013 (UTC)
  • ALT2 seems to be better for the average reader IMHO. - date, length, verifiability, NPOV, etc., verified. Kayau (talk · contribs) 23:00, 10 January 2013 (UTC)