Template:Did you know nominations/Glen Davis Shale Oil Works
- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 03:16, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
Glen Davis Shale Oil Works, Oil shale in Australia
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( Article history links: )
- ... that the Glen Davis Shale Oil Works was the last oil-shale operation in Australia until the commencement of the Stuart Oil Shale Project in late 1990s?
- Reviewed: La Selva Biological Station
Created/expanded by Beagel (talk). Self nom at 18:38, 2 December 2012 (UTC)
Both look okay. The nom date is barely within a week since creation, but acceptable.--¿3family6 contribs 22:43, 15 December 2012 (UTC)
The prose in the Glen Davis article needs some cleanup before this is ready for the main page. A few examples include the final sentence of "History", which doesn't explain "stay-down" and ends poorly; and some odd phrases in the Description section, including "entering to the retort", "were ejected", and a partial sentence about the United States. Also, the hook's use of "the commence" reads oddly, and should be modified. BlueMoonset (talk) 05:49, 16 December 2012 (UTC)
- Thank you for your comment and I appreciate highly any assistance to improve the prose. However, I don't see what is wrong with "stay-down" as it just means that miners stayed down in the underground mine for the strike period.It is also the term which was used by media that time. Also, which partial sentence bout the United States do you mean. There is the sentence "Rest of technology was imported from the United States.", but why this is "partial"? Beagel (talk) 10:17, 16 December 2012 (UTC)
- Beagel, just because the media at the time understood what "stay-down" meant does not mean that the reader today, sixty years later and possibly in another country, will understand it. It's a simple matter to explain the term in simple modern English—that they refused to leave the mine during the strike—and your responsibility to do so once you've used the term. Articles should be written in encyclopedic language. "Rest of technology was imported from the United States" is indeed a partial sentence: you're missing articles. Something like "The remainder of the technology required for operation was imported from the United States" is a complete sentence. I see that someone has done some copyediting and fixed that particular sentence, but significant issues still remain. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:15, 17 December 2012 (UTC)
- These issues are fixed now. Could you please clarify which "significant issues still remain", so we could fix them. Thank you. Beagel (talk) 07:46, 17 December 2012 (UTC)
- It was simpler to fix them myself, which is now done. If 3family6 is satisfied with the changes, I have no objections to a restoration of the approval tick, since the hook issue has also been addressed. BlueMoonset (talk) 16:30, 17 December 2012 (UTC)
- These issues are fixed now. Could you please clarify which "significant issues still remain", so we could fix them. Thank you. Beagel (talk) 07:46, 17 December 2012 (UTC)
- Beagel, just because the media at the time understood what "stay-down" meant does not mean that the reader today, sixty years later and possibly in another country, will understand it. It's a simple matter to explain the term in simple modern English—that they refused to leave the mine during the strike—and your responsibility to do so once you've used the term. Articles should be written in encyclopedic language. "Rest of technology was imported from the United States" is indeed a partial sentence: you're missing articles. Something like "The remainder of the technology required for operation was imported from the United States" is a complete sentence. I see that someone has done some copyediting and fixed that particular sentence, but significant issues still remain. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:15, 17 December 2012 (UTC)
- Fixed grammar problem in hook.--¿3family6 contribs 13:57, 16 December 2012 (UTC)
- I'm fine with the prose.--¿3family6 contribs 23:01, 17 December 2012 (UTC)
- Up to you to restore the approval tick, then. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 23:09, 18 December 2012 (UTC)
- Oops, sorry: Good to go.--¿3family6 contribs 23:25, 18 December 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks. :-) BlueMoonset (talk) 23:33, 18 December 2012 (UTC)