Template:Did you know nominations/George Pirie Thomson

The following is an archived discussion of George Pirie Thomson's DYK nomination. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page; such as this archived nomination"s (talk) page, the nominated article's (talk) page, or the Did you know (talk) page. Unless there is consensus to re-open the archived discussion here. No further edits should be made to this page. See the talk page guidelines for (more) information.

The result was: rejected by Panyd^{The muffin is not subtle} 14:29, 14 April 2013 (UTC).

George Pirie Thomson

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... that George Pirie Thomson was Britain's Chief Press Censor for most of WWII?

Created by Gaius Cornelius (talk). Self nominated at 13:58, 22 February 2013 (UTC).

Moved to the main article space today Gaius Cornelius (talk) 17:32, 22 February 2013 (UTC)
Hook is valid, but I'm worried about the prose of this - it seems very, very close to the ODNB in parts. Very little of it is word-for-word identical, but some of it is far, far, too close for comfort:

In 1908 he passed for lieutenant with five firsts and specialised in submarines, which were at the time in the very early stages of their development

He passed for lieutenant with five firsts and specialized in submarines, which were then (1908) in the very early stages of their development.

I think this may need a fairly extensive rewrite. Andrew Gray (talk) 18:09, 28 February 2013 (UTC)

Thank you for your comment. I will look at this in a few day's time when I will be free to do so. Gaius Cornelius (talk) 22:00, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

Apologies for the delay. The ODNB has been temporarily unavailable to me, that will change after Monday. Gaius Cornelius (talk) 06:49, 9 March 2013 (UTC)

I have rewritten troublesome segments. Gaius Cornelius (talk) 13:57, 14 March 2013 (UTC)

New review needed. Reviewer should be sure to do a close paraphrasing check, to see whether any segments like those mentioned above still remain. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:47, 18 March 2013 (UTC)
Still quite close paraphrasing from a newspaper article including "time he had qualified as an interpreter in four languages was selected for the staff course and was then appointed to the admiralty for the naval intelligence" where the change is just two words.--Gilderien Chat|List of good deeds 17:39, 24 March 2013 (UTC)

It's been over a week since the nominator's talk page was pinged, and no response. If nothing is done soon to address to close paraphrasing issues, the nomination will have to be closed. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:54, 5 April 2013 (UTC)