Template:Did you know nominations/Ethel McMillan

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by PumpkinSky talk 02:33, 7 September 2012 (UTC)

Ethel McMillan

(

)

... that after her husband's death, Ethel McMillan (pictured) also became a Member of Parliament for Dunedin, New Zealand?

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Later life of José de San Martín
Comment: 5 times expanded. I might try and expand her husband's article to meet DYK requirements, but that would happen on day six at the earliest. Schwede 66 19:08, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

Created/expanded by Schwede66 (talk). Self nom at 19:08, 23 August 2012 (UTC)

Hook does not state the husband was also in parliament, leaving the "also" a bit dangling. Suggesting an alternative here:

Alt 1 ... that in addition to serving 22 years in the Parliament of New Zealand, Ethel McMillan (pictured) holds the distinction of being the first woman in her country appointed as a savings bank trustee?

Maile66 (talk) 11:35, 25 August 2012 (UTC)

In my books, the original hook works; it is the 'also' that conveys the information that her husband was an MP. But if it doesn't work for you, that's fine. That said, I find ALT1 suffering from information overload. Can I please suggest a simplified ALT2? Schwede 66 09:51, 27 August 2012 (UTC)

Alt 2 ... that Ethel McMillan (pictured) holds the distinction of being the first woman in New Zealand appointed as a savings bank trustee?

Needs a full review now that there's a selection of hooks to choose from. BlueMoonset (talk) 04:39, 6 September 2012 (UTC)
- Article expansion, date and sources check out. The hook (ALT2) is cited at the end of the paragraph, but needs an inline citation at the end of the sentence (I added). This is good to go for ALT2. Yazan (talk) 05:34, 6 September 2012 (UTC)