Template:Did you know nominations/Edgardo Gomez

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by 97198 (talk) 05:58, 21 September 2014 (UTC)

Edgardo Gomez

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... that Edgardo Gomez pioneered giant clam breeding in Bolinao, Pangasinan?

Created by Carlojoseph14 (talk). Nominated by Shhhhwwww!! (talk) at 00:25, 2 September 2014 (UTC).

One sentence from the sources I could access (the tophil.ph link was not live when I checked, and maybe not in the Wayback Machine, which isn't good) was too closely paraphrased: "He also contributed to the creation…" Bolinao isn't mentioned in the source provided. Instead it says he helped "reestablishment of giant clam stocks" in the coastal Philippines, which sounds more remarkable. Perhaps a more interesting hook would combine this with the fact that he's a National Scientist, which sounds impressive. If the copied sentence is rewritten and a better hook is submitted, this should meet the requirements, as new and long enough. —innotata 02:49, 20 September 2014 (UTC)

Revised some points. Added some reference. He pioneered giant clam breeding in the Philippines for coastal communities. Its laboratories are located in Bolinao and other coastal areas. Revised that sentence.

ALT2: ... that National Scientist Edgardo Gomez pioneered giant clam breeding for coastal communities in the Philippines? --Carlojoseph14 (talk) 14:31, 20 September 2014 (UTC)

The sentence was still not great, but I rephrased it, also to clarify what it was talking about. I can't detect any further close paraphrasing in the article. It meets all the requirements, so it should be good to go. —innotata 00:56, 21 September 2014 (UTC)