Template:Did you know nominations/Eastern Desert

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Desertarun (talk) 18:57, 1 June 2021 (UTC)

Eastern Desert

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... that there is a mountainous desert in Egypt? Source: "You are strongly encouraged to quote the source text supporting each hook" (and [link] the source, or cite it briefly without using citation templates)
- ALT1:... that Egyptians used to carry boats in pieces across the desert to embark on trading expeditions when they reached the Red Sea? Source:(https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.5615/neareastarch.78.1.0004)
- ALT2:... that ancient Egyptians carried boats in pieces across the Eastern Desert, reassembling them when they reached the Red Sea to embark on trading expeditions? Source:(https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.5615/neareastarch.78.1.0004)

Created/expanded by Rmeares01 (talk). Self-nominated at 00:46, 21 May 2021 (UTC).

General: Article is new enough and long enough
New enough: Long enough:

Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Adequate sourcing: Neutral: Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing:

Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation
Cited: Interesting:

QPQ: Done.

Overall: Appears to meet five-fold expansion between 08:46, 16 May 2021‎ (1797 characters/301 words) and 10:06, 23 May 2021 ~~(9724 characters/1617 words of readable prose)~~ (after Features section removed 10:06, 23 May 2021 edit is at 9355 characters/1556 words) Still passes five-fold expansion; ~~entire Features section appears taken verbatim from https://ugfacts.net/african-facts/sudan-facts/sudan-desert/~~ (has been removed by nominator); hook is very obvious and somewhat boring; needs more intrinsic interest; 1st nom so QPQ inapplicable BusterD (talk) 22:18, 29 May 2021 (UTC)

Hello, thank you very much for reviewing my submission. Thank you especailly for pointing out the plagarism in the article. The features section was there when I first got the article as a stub and I didn't think to check if there were copyright issues but I will remove it right away. Do you know how I might be able to change the hook for my article submission? Or is it too late now? Thank you again Rmeares01 (talk) 04:41, 30 May 2021 (UTC)

Comment. I agree the features section does appear to have been present when you started. This is not your fault, but now is your responsibility (if you want to proceed with this DYK nom, and IMHO you definitely should). I suggest you re-write the section instead of removing it. Deleting the section may bring your five-fold expansion numbers below the 5to1 threshold. IMHO better just to re-write the brief section and improve it. As far as changing your hook, that's what ALT1 line is for. Compose an improved hook and post it after ALT1. You can even copy the entire line "** ALT1:... that ...?" and paste it directly below ALT1 to create ALT2 and ALT3 and so on. It is not at all unusual to go through multiple ALTs during a DYK discussion. Keep doing what you're doing. I'm happy to see a new contributor has such aptitude. Please continue to take any feedback or critique in the proper spirit of cooperation and WP:AGF. Wikipedians often disagree; this is the normal and desired state. That's exactly what talk pages are for. BusterD (talk) 16:02, 30 May 2021 (UTC)

As far as the new hook, I can relate that I didn't know much about the subject, so your article improvement is needed. I didn't know the Sahara Desert extended east of the Nile. It didn't occur to me that elevation-island biomes in those rocky mountains would host such a diversity of wildlife. You've got lots of incongruity to work with to make an excellent ALT or even multiple ALTs. BusterD (talk) 16:08, 30 May 2021 (UTC)

Much more interesting hook, but the Eastern Desert link occupies the entire hook. I've suggested a new hook which meets the format better. What do you think? BusterD (talk) 01:21, 31 May 2021 (UTC)

Comment. I re-calculated page expansion minus the Features section and it still passes. Removing the question mark. Now we both just need to be satisfied with the hook. BusterD (talk) 01:57, 31 May 2021 (UTC)

Yes, this looks great! Thank you very much for helping me! Rmeares01 (talk) 03:25, 1 June 2021 (UTC)

Completing checklist. We've agreed upon ALT2 as our choice for promotion. BusterD (talk) 04:18, 1 June 2021 (UTC)