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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:41, 4 August 2012 (UTC)
Withdrawn

Cleveland CycleWerks

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Cleveland CycleWerks Tha Heist bobber.

Created/expanded by Dennis Bratland (talk), Brianhe (talk). Nominated by Dennis Bratland (talk) at 02:00, 11 July 2012 (UTC)

  • Well-written and referenced hook, article meets requirements, and image is free of copyright and has clarity at a low resolution.—Yutsi Talk/ Contributions ( 偉特 ) 20:18, 11 July 2012 (UTC)
  • QPQ has not been completed; the article cannot be approved until QPQ is finished and posted here. BlueMoonset (talk) 21:03, 11 July 2012 (UTC)
  • Close paraphrasing concerns. See, for example, "In 2008, Colosimo returned to his alma mater as adjunct faculty to teach transportation design" from the article compared to "in 2008 he returned to his alma mater as an adjunct faculty member teaching transportation design" from this source, and "finished a degree in industrial design from the Cleveland Institute of Art" immediately before it in the article versus "graduated from the Cleveland Institute of Art with a degree in industrial design" from this other source. BlueMoonset (talk) 23:15, 12 July 2012 (UTC)
  • Need new reviewer to fully recheck nomination. Thanks! BlueMoonset (talk) 03:16, 16 July 2012 (UTC)
  • New reviewer here. The article still seems to be too close to its sources. I hasten to acknowledge that it is evident that effort was made to intersperse information obtained from different sources and to use direct quotations to avoid too-close paraphrasing. My impression that it is too close to the sources is due largely to the way the article replicates (either as direct quotes, paraphrase, or content structure) the informal/irreverent content and wording of the various non-encyclopedia-like published interviews on which it is based.
One indication of the article's faithfulness to informal sources was the difficulty I had making sense of the chronology of Scott Colosimo's education and career -- the interviews tended to jump around over time, and so did the article. His profile on LinkedIn (I don't believe that's a reliable source, but it's helpful to clarify details from other sources) confirmed that he finished his studies at CIA (what he calls "college") before he started work at Johnson Controls -- this was not a school that he attended after leaving Dirt Devil. If a similar effort were made to sort out the who-did-what-when story of the company, the section called "Founding" (which in fact covers most of the history of the company) could be written more like an encyclopedia article and less like a collection of informal/irreverent quotations.
I also removed the statement that Colosimo and Streng had a reputation as outsiders at Dirt Devil. That's a bit of braggadocio from an interview, not a third-party verified fact. It appears to me that they worked there for only a short time (Colosimo's LinkedIn page says he was there for 13 months), so it is difficult to imagine that they formed much of a reputation for anything more than having been short-timers. Many of the other statements in the article that are represented as fact are equally questionable -- reconsider this content.
The article section about Colosimo's personal motorcycle has no obvious encyclopedic relevance. There might be a couple of details there that are relevant to the company's philosophy/approach to design and manufacturing, but there's no call for providing a worshipful detailed description of "a hardtail bobber ... based on a 1954 BSA M21, a 63 mph (101 km/h) workhorse of a motorcycle with a "big, lazy" 591 cc (36.1 cu in) a single cylinder side valve engine" (etc.). Not everything that's been published about the company's founders belongs in an encyclopedia! --Orlady (talk) 13:37, 4 August 2012 (UTC)
One more thing: The hook fact is basically verified (although I'm not sure he "fabricated custom motorcycle parts" -- I think it would be more accurate to say he "worked on building custom motorcycles"), but even though it comes from his own statements, it could be perceived as presenting BLP concerns. A hook about the company (for example, about some aspect of its manufacturing in China) could avoid that kind of controversy. --Orlady (talk) 13:44, 4 August 2012 (UTC)
Well, lets just agree to disagree. I'll withdraw the DYK nomination. Thanks for your time! --Dennis Bratland (talk) 14:34, 4 August 2012 (UTC)
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