Template:Did you know nominations/Child poverty in the United States

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by BlueMoonset (talk) 02:04, 9 December 2022 (UTC)
This article was part of a class assignment that ended on December 1, and the nominator has not edited Wikipedia for a month. Closing with regret; it was abandoned by its nominator too soon.

Child poverty in the United States

(

• Back to T:TDYK
• Article history

)

• ... that in the United States, one in five children live in poverty? Source: "Childhood poverty has been a persistent problem in the United States, with approximately 1 in 5 children living below the official federal poverty level (FPL)" ([1])
  • Reviewed:
  • Comment: on page 1 of the source

Created by Mmemorablemoments (talk). Self-nominated at 04:14, 7 November 2022 (UTC).

• To tighten the hook, I think we should go with: theleekycauldron (talk • contribs) (she/her) 03:17, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
  • ALT0a: ... that in the United States, one in five children live in poverty?

theleekycauldron Ok, sounds good!

• Ambitious work on a difficult but important topic by a new editor (welcome!). New enough (submitted within 5 days of creation), super long (4011 words), well sourced, Earwig says no copyvio. QPQ is not required for a first nomination. Issue with hook has been addressed. Before I check this off for approval, I would like to ask Mmemorablemoments to please review the final section on "Future steps" and see if you can revise the copy a bit to make it sound more neutral and more encyclopedic. Given the topic, it's hard not to be prescriptive, but in places, this very long paragraph sounds a bit like soapboxing, which we're trying to avoid. (See WP:SOAPBOX.) (A few minor changes may go a long way to fix this.) Other comments (not necessarily DYK blockers): 1) Measurement section is too long and too detailed; the reader could easily forget what the article is about and it reads like a college paper rather than an encyclopedia article. 2) Overall, the article could use some TLC in terms of copyediting and proofing: Is the writing as clear as it could be? (I noticed that you share one of my bad habits which is to use the word "also" a lot. There is a section of the article where "also" appears in nearly every sentence (!).) Anyway, I understand that this article is part of your coursework, but hopefully your instructor also understands that what makes a good paper for an academic course is not the same as what makes an acceptable Wikipedia article. The article is more than long enough for DYK, so don't be afraid to simplify and shorten, if it gets your points across more clearly. Shorter paragraphs may help also. <-- See what I did there? Cielquiparle (talk) 23:46, 16 November 2022 (UTC)
• Nominator has not responded in two weeks and has not been active on Wikipedia since 9 November. Per review above, article as it stands does not meet DYK standards. Cielquiparle (talk) 06:54, 30 November 2022 (UTC)