Template:Did you know nominations/Chhilchhila Wildlife Sanctuary

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by ~ Rob^Talk 11:59, 10 August 2015 (UTC)

Chhilchhila Wildlife Sanctuary

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... that the Chhilchhila Wildlife Sanctuary, the staging and wintering ground of avifauna, has recorded 57 species of wetland birds?

Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Jeff Seidel

5x expanded by Nvvchar (talk). Self-nominated at 13:32, 17 June 2015 (UTC).

The lede doesn't make sense; the hook needs work (it isn't the staging and wintering ground of all avifauna); and has nobody noticed the animated, cartoon hummingbird? Belle (talk) 23:45, 17 June 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the review. Do you want me to remove the animated cartoon. I retained it from the original article. Yes, I have changed the hook to ALT1 ... that the Chhilchhila Wildlife Sanctuary has recorded 57 species of wetland birds? --Nvvchar. 14:13, 18 June 2015 (UTC)

It should definitely be removed unless there is a new policy to include unrelated animated cartoon birds in articles (WP:INCLUDEANIMATEDCARTOONBIRDS; there, thought not). Belle (talk) 14:54, 18 June 2015 (UTC)

@Belle:Removed the animated img from the infobox.--Nvvchar. 16:04, 18 June 2015 (UTC)

I am suggesting another ALT2 hook ... that, according to a local legend, the lake in the Sanctuary had a tunnel during the Mahabharata days through which the Pandavas escaped to Haridwar?--Nvvchar. 21:25, 10 July 2015 (UTC)

It still needs copy-editing; the opening sentence is a fragment. Belle (talk) 23:47, 10 July 2015 (UTC)

The first sentence in the lead has been copy edited. The hook text is also modified as:

ALT2a ... that according to a local legend there was a tunnel in the lake of the Sanctuary which was used by the Pandavas during the Mahabharata period to escape to Haridwar? --Nvvchar. 00:12, 11 July 2015 (UTC)

Belle, where does the nomination stand now? BlueMoonset (talk) 23:40, 19 July 2015 (UTC)
It still needs copy-editing and general tidying up: there are unexplained quotations marks round some of the species' names; a gallery of two pictures showing the Indian robin (one labelled "small black bird") which isn't mentioned in the text; etc. (I say etc because I'm too lazy to list any of the other points). Belle (talk) 00:08, 20 July 2015 (UTC)

Deleted pictures in the gallery. Quotation marks also removed. Did some copy editing.--Nvvchar. 19:22, 20 July 2015 (UTC)

Long enough; expanded enough; neutral enough; QPQ done. The ALT2 hooks is fine, but you could mention the temple in the article. The main sticking point now is the closeness of the text to the second source; I know it is hard to write anything different when enumerating data, but you could mix it up a bit with the fourth source or vary the order. Also, what does this mean? "During severe summer months storage in the lake is inadequate." Belle (talk) 22:41, 23 July 2015 (UTC)

@Belle: Thanks for the edits. I have added about the temple. When it comes to list of plant and bird species it is difficult to make changes from the original text but I have now changed their order. Reason for inadequacy of water in the lake has been explained. Pl see if these changes are adequate.--Nvvchar. 00:30, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

Ready to go now (I think the H key got stuck when they were naming this place). Belle (talk) 09:22, 10 August 2015 (UTC)