Template:Did you know nominations/Arthur Moon
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Hawkeye7 (talk) 18:35, 7 November 2014 (UTC)
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Arthur Moon
[edit]- ... that Major Arthur Moon enlisted four prisoners of war who were artists to create a unique record of camp conditions during the building of the Thailand-Burma Railway, then buried the works in the ground?
Created by Tomintoul (talk). Self nominated at 17:09, 2 November 2014 (UTC).
The hook is not even hinted at in the article. Tomintoul, I'm not familiar enough with the work to expand, so I suggest that you do this. We need some statements about the burial in the main body of the article along with the cites you want to apply for that statement. Maury Markowitz (talk) 13:02, 3 November 2014 (UTC)
- Ok, so what you need to do now is put a statement about the burial right in the article. Basically the line we have to cross is that the hook statement (above) is directly mentioned and cited in the article. Right now there's nothing about the burial. The "Record of conditions" would be the right place. Maury Markowitz (talk) 13:29, 3 November 2014 (UTC)
- Oh geez, I totally didn't see the change in the hook. Sorry, but now it's too long! (getting frustrated yet?!). I'd suggest just going with this...
- ALT1 ... that Major Arthur Moon enlisted four artists who were former prisoners of war to create a unique record of atrocities during the building of the Thailand-Burma Railway?
- I think that's still really punchy, and it's directly in the article as-is.
I think your comments and my amends have got out of synch! Could you look at latest amends to article and template? I won't make any more updates until I see what you have said. I'm still learning about this process! Sorry and thanks. (Note: the artists were still POWs when they did the paintings.)Tomintoul (talk) 13:55, 3 November 2014 (UTC)
- Indeed, that did happen. I like the new one! I've removed the ref in the hook here, that stays in the article body. Which brings us to...
Newness, cites, length, DYK Check, hook all good. User's first DYK so no QPQ required. Going with first hook, at the top. Maury Markowitz (talk) 15:52, 3 November 2014 (UTC)
