Template:Did you know nominations/Andrew Bolon

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Oceanh (talk) 17:10, 22 May 2014 (UTC)

Andrew Bolon

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... ~~that the 1855 death of Andrew Bolon, one of the first law enforcement officer to die in the line of duty in the present-day U.S. state of Washington, contributed to the outbreak of the Yakima War?~~

Comment: Not a self-nom. --PFHLai (talk) 05:48, 19 May 2014 (UTC)

Created by BlueSalix (talk). Nominated by PFHLai (talk) at 05:48, 19 May 2014 (UTC).

This article is new enough and long enough. The hook is sourced reliably but I have substituted "contributed to" for "led to". I detected no policy issues. I think the hook is too wordy and would prefer

ALT1 ... that the 1855 death of law enforcement officer Andrew Bolon contributed to the outbreak of the Yakima War? Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:19, 20 May 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the review and the shortened hook. Cheers! --PFHLai (talk) 04:22, 22 May 2014 (UTC)