Template:Did you know nominations/Alice Brown (ombudsman)

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 19:19, 22 January 2017 (UTC)

Alice Brown (ombudsman)

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• ... that Alice Brown worked as an academic and advised the new Scottish Parliament on governance, before becoming the first Scottish Public Services Ombudsman?http://www.institute-of-governance.ed.ac.uk/about [1]
  • ALT1: ... that Alice Brown was a professor of politics and advised the new Scottish Parliament on governance, then went on to become the first Scottish Public Services Ombudsman? [2]

• Reviewed: Black grasswren

Created by Drchriswilliams (talk). Self-nominated at 20:41, 14 January 2017 (UTC).

* Promising article on good sources, no copyvio obvious. A few questions: 1) The hook fact is supported by the refs here, but it must be in the article, with the precises ref right after the fact, three of them. The "first ombudsman" (no ombudswoman?) is in the lead, but not yet in the body. 2) Can you combine a few of those short paragraphs?

I like ALT1, as more precise. What do you think of rewording it (note: no link to Scottish Parliament, - readers can find it in the article):

ALT2: ... that Alice Brown, who was a professor of politics and advised the new Scottish Parliament on governance, went on to become the first Scottish Public Services Ombudsman? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:43, 16 January 2017 (UTC)

• @Gerda Arendt: I'm happy with ALT2. I have made some edits to the article to address the points raised. I have added further subsections, tidied up the academic part of her career and referenced it further, provided a brief note of some debate relating to the ombudsman title. Drchriswilliams (talk) 21:22, 17 January 2017 (UTC)

Great, thank you! - I trust that you will also combine a few of the many short sentences in the academic section, all beginning with "She" ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:40, 17 January 2017 (UTC)

Yes, I have tidied this bit up. Drchriswilliams (talk) 14:00, 18 January 2017 (UTC)