Jump to content

Template:Did you know nominations/2013 Specialized–lululemon season

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:39, 14 July 2014 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

2013 Specialized–lululemon season

[edit]
(
)

5x expanded by Sander.v.Ginkel (talk). Self nominated at 12:15, 17 June 2014 (UTC).

  • Comment: The article was not created in the last seven days, but the article was completed on 12 June (5 days ago). Sander.v.Ginkel (talk) 12:26, 17 June 2014 (UTC)
  • Expansion 3-12 June, nominated 17 June. Thank you for your explanation, which I accept (I have edited the nom to say "expanded", not "created"). Therefore it is new enough and long enough. No QPQ required from this nominator. No problem with disambig links or with access to external links. Hook image is free and it appears in the article. All article images are free except the fair-use logo which is properly licensed. The text is written in an objective manner and a neutral style (but see copyediting issue below). It is fully cited. External links from citations 1-10 were checked with dup detector tool for sources of copyvio and close paraphrasing; none found (citations 11-41 not checked). Copyediting issue: Is "structute" a typo? I cannot guess what you mean there. And "performed prolific"? "escaped with 35km"? "were very prolific"? "lost the sprint from her"? "finished in third"? "didn not go as fasted"? There are other examples like this in the text which are making the meaning unclear, so this text needs to be copyedited before it can be promoted for DYK. See Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests. When the copyediting issue is resolved, this nom should be OK. --Storye book (talk) 12:48, 18 June 2014 (UTC)
  • Thank you for your review and sorry for the copyediting issues. I corrected them. If you have more issues, I'm happy to improve the article. Sander.v.Ginkel (talk) 20:42, 18 June 2014 (UTC)
  • Thank you, Sander.v.Ginkel, for kindly resolving the above copyediting issues - I have struck them out. More issues: (1) There are still a few more minor ones, e.g. "finishid", "finsished", "secnd", full stop missing after "joy after winning", "undeafeted", "that is dream that comes true" - repeated?. I hope you will find time to correct these. (2) I have just realised that I didn't check out the hook fully - my apologies. The hook is acceptable and short enough, and it is sourced to online citation #40. However citation #40 is now out of date, and I cannot find Ellen van Dijk's name there. Please correct the citation? Thank you. --Storye book (talk) 09:03, 19 June 2014 (UTC)
  • Sorry, but I had to pull this one from prep as I think it needs more copyediting, there are sentences in the lede alone that verge on the incomprehensible, for example "the eleventh year of the team, considering the structure of the team dates back to the T-Mobile team in 2003", what does that mean? "Two American cyclists were attracted", huh? "The year was marked with a crash of Ina-Yoko Teutenberg in March. She couldn’t ride for the whole season", then how come she crashed? "Ellen van Dijk, the runner op of the team" - the "runner op" [sic] to what? "The team was, like last year, undefeatable", did you mean "undefeated"?
These are only problems I found in the lede, I haven't looked at the rest of the article yet. I don't expect foreign-language users to get everything right by any means, but the basic meaning must be clear and I don't think it is in the examples above. Get some help to rewrite from other users if you need it. Gatoclass (talk) 13:22, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
Gatoclass, thank you for your comments. Sorry on the other hand for my very late response. I didn't see it.. I started working on the leading section and improved it with your comments. I'll also go through the whole article to scan it further on bad English. Sander.v.Ginkel (talk) 17:05, 9 July 2014 (UTC)
  • The mentioned issues are resolved. The lead and the whole article are improved. MFriedman (talk) 16:58, 11 July 2014 (UTC)
  • I would like Gatoclass to confirm that his concerns have been fully addressed, since this has already been pulled from prep once, and a second pull for the same reason would be most unfortunate. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 23:07, 11 July 2014 (UTC)
I've given the lead a couple of tweaks myself to deal with the major problems. I did read through the rest of the article a while back and thought it was okay. But the hook still looks a bit iffy to me because how does one define "best rider"? Gatoclass (talk) 13:40, 12 July 2014 (UTC)
Thank you for your work Gatoclass. I see and understand what you mean with iffy. Altough the hook may looks iffy, I think it is not iffy. The best rider in women's road cycling is defined as the rider who is in the highest position in the official World Ranking at the end of the season. (if you still think it's iffy; Van Dijk was the best of the team in 5 out of the 6 (individual) World Cup races, had the most Season victories and became World Champion.) Sander.v.Ginkel (talk) 14:19, 12 July 2014 (UTC)
The best rider in women's road cycling is defined as the rider who is in the highest position in the official World Ranking at the end of the season. Have you added that info to the article and sourced it? If so, the hook should be fine to run. Gatoclass (talk) 14:24, 12 July 2014 (UTC)
Actually, I've tweaked the hook so you don't need to do that, but now somebody else will have to verify it. Gatoclass (talk) 14:30, 12 July 2014 (UTC)
Thank you, the hook is indeed better now. Sander.v.Ginkel (talk) 15:17, 12 July 2014 (UTC)
  • Thank you, Gatoclass and others. All issues resolved. Good to go with the hook which checks out with online citation #40. --Storye book (talk) 09:21, 13 July 2014 (UTC)
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template:Did_you_know_nominations/2013_Specialized–lululemon_season&oldid=1012923494"