Template:Did you know nominations/Ümit Şamiloğlu
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 19:41, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
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Ümit Şamiloğlu
- ... that Turkish artistic gymnast Ümit Şamiloğlu is the creator of a special grip in the horizontal bar event named after him? Source: "'The Şamiloğlu' hareketinin çıkış noktası şöyle; barfikste dünyanın bilinen bir sporcusuyum.", "Bir önceki başarısı, adına tescillenen ‘The Samiloglu’ hareketiydi." (in Turkish) [1]
- Reviewed: S. Morgan Smith
Created by CeeGee (talk). Self-nominated at 11:09, 22 December 2020 (UTC).
New enough, long enough. However, I'm trying to read this and am having trouble understanding it. These sentences are run-on and hard to follow: He met Hasan Onmuş of Dokuz Eylul University at Manisa (1982–1992) when his father was appointed from Ağrı to Manisa. Onmuş decided to send Şamiloğlu following a physical test to Bolu, the center of gymnastics in Turkey under coaching of world's best Soviet trainers, who came following the Dissolution of the Soviet Union.
This one doesn't make sense:Together with his coach, Şamiloğlu developed from a simple grip a repeatable and not so difficult grip preferable by high-level gymnasts.
Usually I can edit your work, but I'm having trouble understanding it. Maybe you should apply to WP:GOCE?- It's also unclear what kind of a grip you're talking about. In the lead you link it to Grip (gymnastics), but in the body it's linked to Horizontal bar#Grips. The way you describe it, it sounds like it's something he carries with him, not just the way he holds his hands. This needs more explanation to make it clearer to the reader.
- I added tag to unclear words or statements that need citations.
- QPQ done. Yoninah (talk) 22:47, 6 January 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for your review. Before applying to copyeditors guild, I copyedited the parts you mentioned as hard to understand, in error and lacking citation. Maybe, I could make it easier to understand. Can you re-check, please. CeeGee 12:18, 7 January 2021 (UTC)
- @CeeGee: thank you; now I understood the text better and gave it a thorough copyedit. Please review. There are still some tags in the Private life section to take care of, including the cite for his birthdate. Yoninah (talk) 17:09, 7 January 2021 (UTC)
- @Yoninah: Thank you so much indeed for your time. I added missing refs and did some minor copyediting. I hope I did not forget anything. CeeGee 11:05, 8 January 2021 (UTC)
- @Yoninah: Is it possible for you to proceed with the review? Thank you. CeeGee 10:46, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Since I've done a lot of work on this article, I'd like a different editor to review it. Pinging Kingsif for help here. Yoninah (talk) 12:31, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
Article style still reads more like simple wiki, but it's clear. The hook has the same kind of phrasing issue, but it's interesting and sourced. The "grip" issue also seems resolved, as it's clear it's referring to a hand-hold. Seems suitable. Kingsif (talk) 13:27, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks, Kingsif. Would it work to shorten the hook?
- ALT1: ... that —Turkish artistic gymnast Ümit Şamiloğlu is the creator of a special grip in the horizontal bar event? Yoninah (talk) 14:04, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
