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Talk:Zock Allen

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GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Zock Allen/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Bcschneider53 (talk · contribs) 21:53, 28 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Will review. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 21:53, 28 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Lead

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  • Maybe a slight expansion would be useful here?

Professional career

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  • "In late August, the Lions moved Allen to the practice squad and replaced him with new signing Bruce Holmes, who had led the CFL in tackles the previous season with the Ottawa Rough Riders.[4][6][7] Allen finished his rookie season with 31 tackles, two sacks, and a fumble recovery over six games played.[8]" So it appears he was called up from the practice squad at some point...when exactly was that?
    • @Bcschneider53: I don't believe they did, actually. Keep in mind the CFL season starts substantially earlier than the NFL in early July, so a move in late August is already 6-8 weeks into the season (depending on exact start date/move time). The sources aren't 100% clear on this (and often don't include information on healthy scratches where a player is on the active roster but designated not to play in a game), but I think the six games were all before his move to the practice squad. ~ Rob13Talk 05:15, 30 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He was quickly brought back to the active roster, though, and recorded five tackles in the Lions' season-opening win against the Toronto Argonauts.[13]" Suggested rewrite: "Despite this, he was quickly brought back to the active roster and recorded five tackles in the Lions' season-opening win against the Toronto Argonauts.[13]"
    • I'm not a fan of "Despite this" when not clearly warranted, because it adds a bit of an editorial spin on things (e.g. suddenly a routine move to the practice squad for a marginal player sounds like a major career setback). How about just dropping the "though" bit? I agree it makes things sound kind of awkward. I tried that out in the article but welcome additional feedback on this sentence. ~ Rob13Talk 05:15, 30 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Not much as usual. Assuming good faith as all the sources are offline. Placing on hold. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 21:59, 28 June 2017 (UTC)[reply]