Talk:Zabranjeno Pušenje/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: David Fuchs (talk · contribs) 17:06, 17 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, I'll be reviewing this. Given the length and subject matter, it'll take me some time, so I'll aim to have a review up by the end of next week. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ^talk 17:06, 17 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Prose and general (crit. 1, 3, 4, 5):
- Article seems stable and appropriately broad in coverage for GA criteria.
- The main stumbling block here is crit. 1. This article is not very well written, probably due to a lack of native English editors familiar with the content.
  - To take apart stuff from the lead: missing an article at the beginning of Band was formed contrary to the then prevalent Yugoslav punk rock and new wave, closely associated with the New Primitivism cultural movement and the radio and television satire and sketch comedy show Top lista nadrealista. (It's also unclear whether the second part of the sentence applies to punk rock or Zabranjeno Pusenje.) The sentences that follow almost all are run-on sentence fused together by commas. There's weird word choices that don't really say what they're intending to (Their debut studio album Das ist Walter (1984) was initially released in the small print—"released in small print" does not mean "limited initial pressings/copies produced", which is what I believe is intended.) Other places: "came to their seats" instead of simply saying the new members replaced the old ones.
  - The lead fails to adequately cover the entire content of the article; it's mostly a list of rotating band members, but with very little about their style evolution, different albums, and history.
  - The prose issues continue through the rest of the article. There's also manual of style issues like inconsistent capitalization, dashes, and quotations.
  - Aside from grammar issues, the prose and flow of the article begins to devolve into a common issue with music-related articles, the "on DATE, X happened" statements chained together. There's not a lot connecting all these disparate statements and telling me why they're important.
References: (c. 2)
- Spot-checked statements attributed to current refs 1, 2, 12, 16, 37, 47, and 57. I did not find issues with improper use of sources.
- I'm not entirely sold on some of the sources meeting WP:RS standards: What makes sources like depo.ba, jutarnji.hr, Muzika.hr, tportal.hr? I'm not a native speaker so it's possible I'm missing details about their editorial policies or something that could give an indication, but many look more like tabloids and blogs than news orgs and web magazines.
  - For the majority of the sources (since they're in Croatian) you should append language information to the sources.
  - You should also archive web sources to prevent linkrot.
Media: (c. 6)
- File:Zabranjeno pusenje-1.jpg properly tagged and licensed, no other media in the article.

I'd recommend going through and doing a pass for better sourcing; it seems like the best info comes from the memoirs of one of the members, are there any other books that deal with their career that could be used? Then the article needs a thorough copyedit. --Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs ^talk 17:22, 26 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]