Talk:Yugoslav destroyer Dubrovnik/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 21:39, 5 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No DABs, external links OK.
In the interest of shortening the infobox, I'd suggest deleting the cruising speed and dropping the calibre lengths of her guns.
Your lede is plenty long, I'd suggest deleting descriptive info as it's kinda redundant.
Change "naval mine laying" into minelaying.
Link standard displacement.
Main propulsion consisted of two shaft Parsons geared steam turbines driving two propellers giving a maximum of 48,000 shp (36,000 kW). This is confusing; there were two turbine sets, each driving one propeller. This is my preferred wording for this stuff, which I think reads pretty well since the turbines can't generate any power without steam. The Izumo-class ships had two 4-cylinder triple-expansion steam engines, each driving a single propeller shaft. Steam for the engines was provided by 24 Belleville boilers and the engines were rated at a total of 14,500 indicated horsepower (10,800 kW).
Put a "|adj=on" at the end of the template for the cruising turbine's horsepower to give it the proper hyphen.
six Škoda 40 mm (1.6 in) /L67 anti-aircraft guns, arranged as two twin mounts and two single mounts arranged "in"
You need to add all of her construction dates to the mainbody somewhere. I usually have a paragraph covering all that at the beginning of the Construction and service section. More later, time for Game of Thrones.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:56, 11 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

All done. The ordered, laid down and commissioned dates are already in the main body, as the last two sentences of the Development section. Do you mean something else? Cheers, Peacemaker67 (crack... thump) 07:08, 11 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, been kinda distracted lately.

I didn't catch that the construction data was split between the development and service history sections. Should probably be consolidated one place or another. If not in description section, then remove "construction" from header.

I would amplify what you mean by ideal conditions if the info is available as I suspect that she lacked most of her fuel and consumables, as well as all of her ammunition, for that trial run. French and Italian ships sometimes made these runs without their armament to boost their figures during this time.

link laid down Done launched Done, captain Done, torpedo boat, radar and nautical miles Done.

A little repetitious on "Date, event" format. Mix things up a little with things like "tow years later", etc.

Are there any links to articles on her guns? I suspect that there are for the German ones and maybe some of the Italian ones as well. If so, link them, otherwise don't bother red linking them.

None of the Austro-Hungarian or Italian ones (other than the Breda Model 35 MGs), all the German ones are linked already.

Clarify that Alagi attacked Premuda, but missed and hit the other destroyer by mistake.

Were Premuda's new guns not completed or delivered? I suspect the latter, but go with whatever language your sources use.

Move the link for the German 105 mm to first use. Done And I'm pretty sure that the 37 mm used by Premuda was a German model and should be linked there as well.

None of my sources state it was a German model, I didn't want to make the assumption.
- Good idea as I'd forgotten about the Breda 37 mm gun; I've added a link to it as I just created the article.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:25, 22 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Only use "naval mine" once, then just use "mine" as you've already established that they're naval mines.

Put Jarman and Freivogel in title case.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:36, 19 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]