Talk:You da One/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: DAP388 (talk · contribs) 22:52, 18 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Let's start the review, shall we? :)

"Production of the song was complete by Gottwald, under his production name Dr. Luke, and Cirkut." I assume you mean "completed" instead of "complete".
"It was recorded by Kuk Harrell and Marcas Tovar at Sofital Paris Le Laubourg, Room 538 and Westlake Recording Studios (Studio B), Los Angeles, California." This is an oddly structured sentence. Perhaps this is better, "Kuk Harrell and Marcas Tovar recorded the track at the Sofital Paris Le Laubourg, Room 538, and Westlake Recording Studios in Los Angeles, California." In addition, are all of the recording studios located in Los Angeles?
Sofital Paris Le Laubourg is in Paris, France. Aaron • ^{You Da One}
"The song's musical structure received a comparison to Britney Spears' song "Inside Out". This is irrelevant since only one reviewer felt this way.
Add an "it" between "compared" and "to".
"Hours after the release of the video, Norwegian photographer Solve Sundsbo alleged that the scene of Rihanna wearing a white outfit with black dots shining on her is the same as a photo shoot he completed in 2008 titled "Numero 93'", and alleged that Rihanna and Matsoukas had copied his work." -> "Hours after the release of the video, Norwegian photographer Solve Sundsbo accused Rihanna and Matsoukas of plagiarism, suggesting that the scene featuring the singer wearing a white outfit with black dots was deliberately copied from his 2008 montage "Numero 93".
Everything Done Aaron • ^{You Da One}

"including Sofital Paris Le Laubourg, Room 538; Westlake Recording Studios (Studio B), Los Angeles, California." Ouch. This needs to be reformatted.
Done Aaron • ^{You Da One}
"The song was engineered by Aubrey “Big Juice” Delaine and Clint Gibbs, and were assisted by Chris Sclafani and Jonathon Steer." I'm not sure what is meant by "engineered" in regards to producing a song.
It's when you put things together and engineer them. See Audio engineering. I have linked this also.

The flow here is a bit jagged and choppy. Sentences like ""You Da One" runs for 3 minutes and 19 seconds" and ""You da One" is a mid-tempo pop and electropop song" should be reworked to improve the flow.
Unless you are referring to more than one aspect of the song, "bares resemblances" is incorrect. "Bares a resemblance" would be correct in this instance.
Everything Done Aaron • ^{You Da One}

"Jocelyn Vena for MTV News commented on the sexual suggestiveness that is embodied on "You da One", writing "Rihanna channels a potty-mouthed sex kitten"" I like that you are trying to be creative with the prose, but this sentence has some awkward phrasing. Perhaps this is better, "In regards to the song's sexually lewd demeanor, Jocelyn Vena of MTV News felt that Rihanna embodied a "potty-mouthed sex kitten"."
"[You da] one I dream about all day", why is this italicized?
Everything Done Aaron • ^{You Da One}

"It debuted at number 28 on the US Radio Songs chart with a first week audience impression of 28 million,[25] and peaked at number 28." I'm not liking the latter half of the sentence. How about this, "It debuted at number 28 on the US Radio Songs chart, the apex of its stay, with a first week audience impression of 28 million."
"It became the highest debut on the chart since Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" debuted at number six in February 2011." A bit clumsy here.
"On the US Pop Songs, "You da One" debuted at number 26 on November 26, 2011, and was awarded the honor of that weeks Greatest Gainer", you forgot an apostrophe in "weeks".
Everything Done Aaron • ^{You Da One}

"Elsewhere in Europe, the song managed to peak inside the top twenty in Ireland at number 12; in Norway at number 16, and in Spain at number 17." What's up with the random semicolon?
"It peaked inside the top fifty in Austria; Switzerland; and Spain." See above.
"The following week, it feel by one position to number 40." I think you know what needs to be done.
Everything Done Aaron • ^{You Da One}

Amy Sciarretto is the commentator from PopCrush.
The accessdate is missing in the Huffington Post citation.
Everything Done Aaron • ^{You Da One}

That's all. On hold until the issues are resolved. —DAP388 (talk) 20:08, 19 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]